Without You
by schottzie
Summary: Jackie and Hyde struggle with their feelings for each other even after they have moved on. Prequel to "I'm with you".
1. Chapter 1

What happened after the series finale to Hyde and Jackie? Takes place right after the last episode. This is a prequel to my fic "I'm with you". The chapters are short but I hope to post every other day. Hope you enjoy it-reviews are much appreciated. I don't own "That 70's Show" or any shows, songs, etc. mentioned. Had a hard time coming up with a title-hope this works.

Jan. 1, 1980

Hyde had never been more glad that his bedroom in the far corner of the Forman's basement had no windows. Any amount of light would have been excruciating. His head was pounding and his tongue

felt like sandpaper. He reached out blindly towards the crate that served as a bedside table and felt around for the bottle of aspirin he kept there.

Man, that had been a hell of a party. Good thing it had just been upstairs 'cause there was no way he would have made it to his own bed safe and somewhat sound otherwise. Kitty's nice little New Year's Eve get together had turned into a free for all when Kelso, wearing the stupid helmet, had

stormed up the basement stairs and on a dare, called Red a "dumbass". Hyde didn't know the old man could move that fast. It was a good thing Kelso had the helmet on but even better that Kitty was able to talk Red down before he had another heart attack.

Except for the girls' his friends had all been as high as a kite from the weed Forman had brought back from Africa. Damn, it was good to have his best friend back home. It had been one long and weird year without him. More than once Hyde had wondered how different things would have been if Forman had never left.

Maybe the skinny dork would have finally married Donna. Maybe Kelso wouldn't have moved to Chicago. Maybe he wouldn't have married a stripper and maybe Jackie wouldn't be going out with Fez. Crap, he didn't like to think about his ex being with another one of his friends-especially the

perverted freaky one.

His stomach churned and a little bit of bile backed up into his mouth. He swallowed hard. God, he

needed a drink. Preferably water. He would have to get up to get it though and he just didn't have

the energy. He covered his face with his pillow and was drifting back to sleep when he felt it.

Something warm and wet against his thigh. What the hell? He reached down and pulled his hand back quickly when something-or someone-licked it.

What kind of stupid shit had he gotten into last night? He didn't remember much after Red and Kitty went to bed and the party switched into high gear but he was pretty sure he'd remember bringing

someone into his bed. Slowly he lifted the blanket and looked. A pair of shining brown eyes stared back at him. He would have laughed if his bed didn't reek of piss.

"Fuck!" he shouted, not even caring that it hurt his dry throat. He jumped out of the bed-sort of.

It was more of a stumble and he swore again when he stubbed his toe. He had striped before getting into bed so at least there were no wet clothes to be shed but his bed and the blankets were soaked.

"God damn it," he roared and pulled the cord on the bare bulb hanging over his bed. Pain shot thru his head from the sudden brightness.

Schottzie was cowering on the wet blanket, shaking like a leaf on a windy day. Hyde felt a little bad for the dog. As quickly as he could he pulled on his discarded jeans and a clean t-shirt. He let the dog out of the room, grabbing the wet blanket on the way.

Kelso was snoring on the ratty old couch, still wearing the stupid helmet. What a moron. Then again it wouldn't have been inconceivable for Red to have crept down the stairs and killed him in his sleep. Moving quietly Hyde wrapped the pissy blanket around the helmet and Kelso's upper body,

tucking in the ends so it was good and tight. The he stepped back and shouted "Kelso"!

Jerking awake and unable to see, Kelso flailed helplessly until Hyde shoved him off the couch.

The stench of the wet blanket reached him and he flopped like a dying fish, tearing at the blanket with desperate hands.

If he hadn't been so hung over and mad Hyde would have found it freakin' hilarious. Certainly

Eric and Donna, coming down the stairs, thought it was pretty funny.

"Hyde, what the hell is going on?" Donna laughed.

"Yeah, man, what are you doing to –I assume that's Kelso?"

"Making him pay for putting that stupid dog in my room. He pissed all over my bed," Hyde said, sitting down in his favorite chair near the deep freeze.

"He can't breathe!" Donna bent over to help Kelso but he was thrashing so much she couldn't get

a hold of him or the blanket.

"Do we really want to deprive Kelso's brain of oxygen?" Eric asked, leaning against the couch with a little grin on his tan face.

"Yeah, maybe not," Hyde grudgingly got up, walked over to Kelso and kicked him in the head.

It didn't hurt since he was wearing the helmet but it did make him stop rolling around like he was on fire. Donna pulled the blanket off.

"Eeww. Gross!" she said and threw it in the washing machine. Kelso lay gasping on the floor, eyes bulging.

"Kelso, are you ok?" Eric asked, waving his hand in front of his friends' red face. "How many

fingers do you see?"

Kelso knocked Eric's hand away and struggled to get up. He pulled the helmet off and threw it at Hyde, who caught it.

"Hyde, what the hell is wrong with you? I coulda died!"

"No such luck. You're too stupid to die. That damn dog peed all over my bed," Hyde ground out,

fists clenched. Yesterday he'd been glad that Kelso had come up from Chicago to celebrate New

Years Eve with them but right now he would gladly beat him bloody.

"What dog? Is there a dog here?" Kelso's head wiped around. "I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't seen any dogs. I passed out hours ago."

"Don't bullshit me."

"I'm not! Why would I put a dog in your bed? I mean, it's funny. Really funny actually!" he grinned.

"You slept with a dog, Hyde! And it peed on you !"

Donna hid a smile behind her face and Eric chuckled. Hyde glared at them, "If you didn't do it, then

who did?"

"Not me!" Donna raised her hands, her gray eyes laughing.

Hyde's icy stare shifted to Eric, who was grinning almost diabolically and rubbing his hands together.

"Forman? You?" Hyde was surprised and a little bit impressed.

"Yes, yes. It was me. The kid is back," he shouted and raising his skinny arms, shadow boxed like Rocky. "Gonna fly now," he sang.

Hyde just shook his head. "You're lucky you just got home or I'd punch you so hard you'd end up back in Africa."

"I missed you too, Hyde!" Eric came at him with open arms, voice thick with fake tears.

"Back off, Forman," Hyde frowned but he had to admit it was a pretty good prank. Especially for

Forman whose usual attempts were pretty lame.

Kelso was on his feet and with a big grin he hugged Eric. "Man, that was a great burn! You got Hyde and me both. It was a double burn! I'm so glad you're back! I'll bet you're glad he's back too, huh, big D?"

Donnas' smile was coy but her eyes danced. She sat down on the couch and Eric joined her,

wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

Hyde took this seat near the deep freeze and watched his friends cuddle up against each other.

Forman had been home less than twenty four hours and already he'd gotten his girl back. It had

never made sense to Hyde when Forman sent that "Dear Jane" letter to Donna from Africa. He'd

been in love with her since they were kids. It was inevitable they get back together.

Hyde didn't usually give his friends' relationships much thought but he really hoped things would work out for them this time. Looking at them his mind strayed to the only girl he'd ever broken up with- and this included his so called wife- that refused to leave his thoughts. As soon as Sam's

Trans Am hit highway 43 out of town he'd forgotten her. Actually he'd been relieved. That whole

fake marriage had been a disaster and he was damn glad to be out of it.

But all too often he thought of Jackie and he had a lot of regret over how things had ended

with them. If he was honest with himself he would admit that a part of him hoped it wasn't really

over. He knew he'd been an ass to her and he couldn't seem to stop it. Especially now that she was

going out with Fez.

Cripes, if Donna didn't get Forman to the altar quick Jackie would probably get her hooks in him too. He was the only one left in their group that she hadn't dated. And Fez-it just wasn't right. Their

pervy friend had always adored her but man, what was she thinking?

Hyde's memories of last night were fuzzy but he remembered all too clearly Jackie and Fez kissing

at midnight and it turned his stomach now just like it had then. As if he had conjured him by thinking about him the outside door opened and Fez came in, bundled against the cold.

"Fez! Happy New year!" Kelso jumped up and thumped his friend on the back. "Can you believe its' 1980? It's like a whole new century, man!"

"Yes, yes. The same to you, Kelso." Fez's face crumpled and he threw his arms around Kelso, who initially stiffened but then patted his back awkwardly. "Hey, little buddy. What's wrong? Say, where's Jackie?"

Fez burst into tears and Hyde rolled his eyes. It wasn't even twelve hours into the New Year and hurricane Jackie had hit-and hard, judging by Fez's sobs. Man, he was worse than a girl-or Forman, Hyde thought, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

"Fez, come sit down," Donna urged and the foreigner squeezed in between her and Eric.

"What happened?" Eric asked.

"Jackie and I-well, we broke up. She-she has decided Fez is not the one for her," he choked.

"Like we couldn't see that coming," Hyde muttered under his breath.

"Aw, Fez, I'm sorry," Donna said and against her better judgment, she held out her arms. Fez wrapped himself around her, resting his face on her chest. She rolled her eyes at Eric, who just shrugged. What did she expect? Fez might be upset but he wasn't going to pass up an opportunity

to nestle against Donnas' large, soft breasts.

Fez sniffed. "I just don't understand. I thought we were prefect for each other. We like the same

things-disco, fashion, makeup, dancing. She let me do her hair and she would pick out my outfits.

Not that I needed help but still, it was nice. I have worshipped her since I first saw her. Why doesn't

she love me?"

Even though he felt a little guilty for the relief that swept thru him, Hyde was in no mood for Fez's whining. "Sure she loves you, man, like a sister 'cause you act like a freakin' girl. Cripes, man. Listen to yourself."

Fez raised wounded dark eyes and his bottom lip trembled. Kelso stood up, waving a finger in

Hydes' direction. "Hey, that's not nice. I mean, yeah, Fez is foreign and all but he's our friend."

"And as his friend I'm telling him-he's better off without her," Hyde said, wishing he had his

aviators but if he got up to go get them it would be pretty obvious he was trying to hide something.

Something like the little flare of hope in his gut that Jackie was single again.

"Of course you would say that! You never wanted us to be together," Fez' voice rose to a shriek and Hyde grimaced. It was too damn early and he was too damn hung over for this crap. Kelso sat down in the chair nearest the door .

"I gotta agree with Hyde," he began but Hyde cut him off.

"About what, moron?" He growled.

" I never liked the idea of Fez and Jackie either," Kelso shrugged.

"What? I thought we were friends, you sonovabitch!" Fez raised his head from the comfort of Donnas' chest and she took the opportunity to move away.

"We are friends, Fez. You're my bud but I still don't think you and Jackie were a good match. You

see," and his face got that blank look that meant he was thinking. "Jackie likes a manly man. One

with my dashing good looks and Hyde's bad ass reputation. You're a nice looking dude but let's face it. You own more silk shirts than Jackie and you're a way better dancer than she is-but don't tell her I said that!"

"What are you trying to say, Kelso? That I am not macho enough for Jackie?" Fez narrowed his eyes in anger.

Donna jumped in before the questions they'd all had about Fez' sexuality surfaced. "I think what

Kelso is saying is that we're sorry it didn't work out, Fez."

"Yeah but you know what, little buddy? It will be okay," Eric said in a soothing voice. "Just

think of all the girls you haven't stalked-er-dated yet. Do we really want to deprive the women of

Point Place? Right, guys?"

Everyone nodded, even Fez. He had been worried that a stallion such as himself would have trouble being true to one filly, even one as beautiful as Jackie. Now he wouldn't have to worry about it. He

was free to roam again.

"So-uh-how's about we all bring in the New Year with a little circle?" Hyde suggested. It was as close to an apology as Fez would get from him. They all agreed and gathered around the old wooden table.


	2. Chapter 2

New Years Day 1980

Looking out the window of her little bedroom as she lay in bed Jackie pulled the blanket around her

and shivered. The sky was a steely gray with pale pink edging the horizon. It looked like snow was

on the way. Maybe it would snow so hard and so long that the crappy apartment she shared with Fez

would be covered in it. Then she could suffocate in its cold white silence.

She used to hate the quiet. She remembered many nights in high school when her parents were gone

and the thick brick walls of their mansion had felt like a tomb. She would crank up her stereo and

play the most cheerful, mindless music she could think of-Abba usually. When the silence got to be

too much she would talk to herself. Sometimes just the sound of a voice-even her own-would push the loneliness away.

Once when she and Steven were lying together in his little cot in the Forman's basement she asked if

he wanted to talk. "It's too quiet," she said.

"Nah, it's nice," he rubbed her back where his hand rested on it. "You don't always have to talk, Jackie.

I know you think you do but you don't. We can just be together, like this. No talking, no music. Just

quiet, you know," and he kissed her softly.

For the first time she realized how soothing the lack of sound could be. She didn't need to chase away the loneliness with noise. Steven would do it for her-just by holding her. No words were needed.

After she and Steven broke up for the last time-when Sam showed up-she found that the only time she

could think straight was when she was alone. She started to need the silence-like she needed it now.

There were times when she tried to fill the silence with whatever she could. Her failed attempt at a

television career, her embarrassing job at the salon, her stupid crush on Fez.

Poor Fez. She rolled away from the window and stared at her bedroom door with it's poster of Andy

Gibb. She wondered if Fez was okay. When they got home from the Forman's New Years Eve party

he had been pretty tipsy and kept laying sloppy kisses on her face. When he said he wanted to "prove their love" she had cringed and pushed him away. Had it sounded that lame when she used to say it to Michael? Why not call it what it really was-or what it was to him anyway. He wanted sex and she didn't.

Not with him anyway-because she didn't love him that way.

She didn't want to hurt him but she had to be honest. She had never been the kind of girl who could

have sex with someone she didn't see a future with-and while she loved Fez it wasn't romantic love.

She had tried to convince herself it was but looking at his confused face she knew it wasn't.

"You're my best friend, Fez. I don't want to lose you."

"Can we not be friends _and_ lovers?" He argued. "Why won't you go all the way with Fez? We kissed.

Was it not magical ?"

She shrugged, arms wrapped around herself as they sat on the sofa. "It was nice, Fez. You're a great

kisser but there was no spark. I hoped there would be but," she looked at him with tear filled eyes "there

just isn't. I think we should just be friends."

He stood up, eyes as dark as obsidian. "So you were just using me?"

"What? No!" she reached a hand toward him but he moved away. "Fez, please, listen to me."

He turned his back to her but didn't leave the room. She sighed and took her heels off, trying to think

of the easiest way to let him down. Before she could speak he spun around, mouth quivering a little but

his voice hard. "No, you listen to me, princess. If you do not want to be my girlfriend I will not beg. I have too much pride but…I do not know if we can still be friends."

"No, Fez! Don't say that!" Seeing the anguish in his eyes she stood and wrapped her arms around him.

"It's late and we're both a little drunk. Well, you are. I'm not" she said against his shoulder. "But I am

tired. Let's talk in the morning, okay? Please?"

He nodded so she squeezed him tightly and whispered, "Good night, Fezzy" but before she reached the

door to her bedroom his voice, low and strained, reached her.

"Is this because of Hyde?"

A sharp pain in the area of her heart brought sudden tears to her eyes. Without looking back she walked into her room and quietly shut the door.

In the early afternoon Jackie opened her bedroom door and listened for any indication that Fez was awake. She hoped he wasn't. She really wasn't ready to deal with him yet. A crying Fez she could handle but an angry Fez was another matter all together. Usually his anger came out in little tantrums that blew over quickly but the coldness in his voice last night wasn't something she had ever heard before.

His bedroom door was open a little so she peeked in, calling his name. It was dark so she flipped the light switch. It was spotless as usual, bed made up and everything. Relieved, she grabbed her toiletries and headed into the bathroom. After a long hot shower she pulled her hair back and slipped into her warmest sweats. She wasn't hungry but she toasted a bagel and poured a glass of orange juice. Sitting at the breakfast bar she decided her new year's resolution would be to start 1980 with a plan. Usually she

just let her emotions and impulses run her life but where had that gotten her? She was going to start fresh and take charge of her was curled up on the couch with a notebook and pen when Fez came home a few hours later. His dark hair was wet as he took his shoes off at the door.

"Is it snowing?" she asked.

"Yes, it is a blizzard out there," he answered, taking off his coat and gloves. "We will probably be snowed in by midnight."

"Oh," she said quietly "I guess that will give us a chance to talk-if you want."

"Yes, I think we should. Do you want some hot chocolate?" he headed for the kitchen.

She smiled. "Yes, that would be nice." She hadn't realized how nervous she had been to talk to him but if he would share his cocoa with her maybe everything would be alright.

It has been a long boring week and Hyde was glad the weekend was coming. Business was slow, not unusual in January but the weather wasn't helping. They'd gotten over a foot of snow on New Years day and today it was bitter cold. If it had been up to him he wouldn't have even opened the store today but W.B had wanted him to get started on inventory. Leo was no help since he could barely keep his eyes open so Hyde had sent him home. He put on the advance copy of AC/DC's new album "Back in Black" that had come today and started the mind numbing job of counting all of the records in the store.

He didn't hear the bell over the door jingle when it opened. A hand fell on his shoulder and he spun around, fists raised. Eric held his hands up.

"Whoa, man! It's just me."

"Geez, Forman. Don't sneak up on me like that. I almost decked you."

"Sorry," Eric laughed then tilted his head. "Is this the new AC/DC? I like it."

Hyde grinned, "Yeah, it's pretty radical. So, what are you doin' here? I thought your Mommy would have you all tucked in with comic books and hot cocoa."

"She did but I got bored. I thought maybe you would close up early and we could hang out. It's gotta be minus ten out there. It can't be very busy."

"It isn't but W.B. wants me to get started on inventory so I'm stuck here."

"You want some help? I got nothing else to do. Donna and Jackie went to register for classes at the

community college."

"Sure, I could use some help. Wait. Did you say Donna _and _Jackie went to register? Why would Jackie register for classes?"

Eric took his jacket off and threw it on the couch in the listening pit. "I guess she decided to take some classes. Something about getting on with her life."

Hyde snorted. "Yeah? Maybe she should get on with her life someplace else. All she does is cause trouble. I haven't seen Fez since he cried all over Donna on New Years day." 

"Oh, he's okay. He was at the Hub hitting on Big Rhonda yesterday. He and Jackie talked things over

and their just going to be friends."

Hyde grunted. "He was always such a sucker for her." He handed Eric a clipboard with an inventory sheet and gave him instructions. They worked in silence for awhile, just Bon Scott screaming his way thru "You Shook Me All Night Long" in the background.

"How is she going to pay for school?" Hyde asked, not looking up.

Eric didn't pretend not to know who he meant. "She put in for a student loan. I guess her Dad used her trust fund on lawyers when he got thrown in jail."

"Yeah, the asshole," Hyde muttered. After several more minutes he asked "What's she going to school for?"  
"Donna said interior design."

Hyde nodded, "She'd be good at that."

Eric glanced over at him but just said, "Yeah."

They worked for a couple of hours until Kitty called to say she had made lasagna for dinner and they decided to call it a day. Locking up they headed out into the cold January evening.


	3. Chapter 3

It was her second day of classes at Point Place Community College and Jackie had lost her schedule. A little frantic she rushed into the office, hoping to get a copy. It was crowded and she had ten minutes to get to class. She just didn't know where. She pushed her way to the counter despite hostile glares from the other students waiting in line.

"Excuse me!" she reached over and tapped the blonde man with his back to her on the shoulder. "I need a copy of my schedule. Could you help me?"

The tall young man turned and smiled at her. "Sure, but you'll have to wait your turn, Miss." His blue eyes twinkled and Jackie naturally titled her head in a flirtatious way.

"Jake! Jake Bradley! It's me! Jackie Burkhardt, from Point Place High."

"I know. How could I forget that smile? How are you, Jackie?"

"I'm great-except I lost my schedule and I'm going to be late for class."

"Don't worry. The teachers expect it the first week. Let me help some of these others and then I'll get you what you need. Okay?" and he flashed the perfect smile that all the girls in school had swooned over. It worked on her now and she waited patiently for him. After several minutes he came around the counter with a copy of her schedule.

"It looks like you have "History of Design" in room 230. Can I walk you there?"

"Sure," she smiled and let him open the door for her. They chatted on the way and once there he followed her in and told the teacher that she was late because of him. The teacher wasn't immune to his charm either and waved Jackie to her seat. Jackie mouthed a "thank you" to Jake, who winked at her as he left. The girls seated around her all sighed or glared at her, which made her feel like she was back in high school where she'd been the prettiest and most popular girl. She hadn't felt that way in a long time and it was nice.

Over the next few weeks it seemed as if Jake was always around when she was at school. Sometimes he would show up and walk her to her next class or if she was in the library he would sit at her table. They would start out studying but end up talking instead. Sometimes he would bring her a soda or an apple from the vending machine. By the end of the first month of school he was walking her to her car at the end of the day, an old Ford Galaxy she'd bought from a guy in one of her classes.

Jake was in his last year of Retail Management and doing really well. His family owned one of the largest sporting goods chains in the Midwest and he was planning on joining the family business. It made sense he told her. He loved sports and he loved people. He had been all state quarterback at Point Place High as well as a member of the baseball team that won regionals in '76. He had a salesman's gift of gab but he was also a really good listener. Sometimes Jackie would apologize for talking too much. Steven had always been telling her to shut her pie hole or he would shut it for her-in the best possible way by kissing her. She shook that thought away and smiled at Jake when he would encourage her to keep talking. She knew he paid attention when after saying how much she liked roses he laid a single perfect red rose on her notepad as she studied in the library. When she looked up he winked and walked away.

"Hey, Jackie. Who gave you the rose?" Donna asked a few minutes later, dumping her backpack on the table and shrugging out of her old corduroy jacket.

"Ugh, Donna, is that the only coat you own? It looks like something the Marlboro man would wear," she turned her nose up.

"Who cares? It's comfy and you're avoiding my question. Who gave you the rose? It's really pretty," Donna said and leaned across the table to smell it.

"Promise you won't tell anyone?"

Donna shook her head and tore open a bag of chips. Everyone seated nearby glared at her and she mouthed "sorry".

"It's from Jake Bradley," Jackie whispered.

"Jake? Really? Wow, Jackie! Good for you. He's like a total dreamboat," she said in her best Jackie voice, tossing her hair. "When are you going out?"

"He hasn't asked me. At least, not yet."

"Not yet? Have you lost your touch, Burkhardt?" Donna stuffed a handful of chips in her mouth.

"God, Donna! Chew!" Jackie grimaced. "I haven't really encouraged him. I mean, he's good looking and really nice but I don't know. Do you think I should?"

Donna popped open a can of soda and got several angry shushes from the other students. "Geez! Sorry!" she whispered loudly. Taking a sip she looked at her best friend and saw the doubt in her big amber eyes. Clearly this called for a serious answer. She set her soda down and reached across the table for Jackie's hand. "I think you should go out with him and have a good time. You've had a rough year and you deserve to have some fun. He's a nice guy. He'll treat you good." She squeezed the little hand gently. "So work that famous Jackie magic and get him to ask you out."

Jackie looked up from their joined hands and smiled at the redhead. "You're right. It's time to move on and put the past behind me. If nothing else we'll make a really cute couple."

Donna grinned, "There's the Jackie I know and love. Now let's get out of here so I can eat my lunch without everyone staring at me!"

Feb.14, 1980

Hyde reached over and snapped off the little black and white tv. There wasn't anything good on and

he was bored out of his mind. He wandered upstairs only to remember that Red had taken Kitty out for dinner. Valentine's Day-what a scam. Just another lame excuse for crass consumerism. He rummaged in the fridge but only came up with one of Red's beers. He had just popped the top when Eric came in thru the living room, pulling on a suit jacket.

"Hey, man. Where are you off to?" Hyde took a swig of Old Milwaukee. Nothing tasted better than stolen beer.

"That better not be one of Red's brewskis. He numbers them on the bottom of the can."

"Yeah, I know. Why do you think I leave the empties in your room?" Hyde grinned.

Eric shrugged. "Whatever. He likes you better anyway. Say, do you mind if I come in to work a little late tomorrow?"

He had been working at Grooves ever since he helped with inventory. It made sense. Hyde couldn't rely on Leo and he trusted Eric. Eric was responsible and he needed the money. He and Donna were moving to Madison after she finished the spring semester at PPCC so they could both enroll at UW in the Fall.

"Sure. No problem. Big night planned with Donna?"

"Yeah, kinda. She's working at the radio station till seven. I'm meeting her at the Hub."

"The Hub? Wow, big spender, Forman. You could probably skip the suit."

Eric flushed and shifted uncomfortably. "Uh-this is kind of awkward but we're meeting Jackie there."

Hyde laughed. "Jackie? Are you guys having a threesome? Just a warning, Forman. Jackie bites."

"What? She bites? Where? Oh, geez, what am I saying!" Eric turned red.

"I'm kidding, man. Why are you meeting Jackie? She can't get a date?"

"No, actually, she has a date and we're going to double."

"At the Hub? This guy must be a real douche," Hyde sneered, conveniently forgetting that he used to take Jackie there all the time.

"Actually we're going to the Vineyard so I'd better head out. Catch you later, man" and he was out the door before Hyde could ask who was the sucker taking his ex out. Not that he cared. He was just surprised there was anyone left in town she hadn't already dated. He finished his beer and went into the living room to watch Red's color cable tv but there still wasn't anything worth watching on.

"Aw, hell" he swore and grabbing his coat and car keys he jumped in the El Camino, knowing he wouldn't relax until he knew who Jackie's date was. When he got to the Hub he saw Donna and Eric at the corner table they all used to hang out at. It brought back a lot of memories which was weird so he pulled out a chair and tried to shake off the sense of nostalgia he felt.

"Hyde, you must have been right behind me," Eric said but he wasn't really surprised.

"What are you doing here?" Donna asked, wearing a green dress, a little makeup on her pretty face.

"Nothing. Can't a guy come for a burger?"

"Okay, sure," Eric drawled but exchanged a concerned look with his girlfriend. You never knew how Hyde would act around Jackie but they were about to find out. The bell over the door jingled and Jackie walked in, followed by a tall, blonde haired guy with an easy smile and his hand on her waist. Her steps slowed as they approached, throwing a nervous look at Donna, who stood up and hugged her to show her support.

"Hey, Jackie, you look really pretty. Hi, Jake."

"Hi, Donna. Eric, how are you? Long time no see," Jake smiled and Eric stood up with a goofy grin on his face to shake the former quarterbacks' hand.

Jackie clutched her purse and refused to look at her ex, who was staring at her and ignoring Jake. Picking up on the tension her date put his hand out.

"It's Hyde, isn't it? I'm Jake Bradley. I graduated in '77. You still drive that bitchin' Camino?"

Hyde glanced at him and nodded but he didn't shake hands. What a tool, he thought, as if everyone in town didn't know who Jake Bradley was. He looked back at Jackie, who glared at him. Nice to know he could still get a rise out of her. "So, Jackie, how's it going?" he asked and nudged her foot with his.

"Fine, thank you," she said politely and took a step back. Not quite the reaction he wanted so he raised an eyebrow and asked. "The Vineyard, huh? That's your favorite restaurant, isn't it? Hope you can afford it, Bradley. Jackie has expensive tastes."

She shot him an angry look but kept her mouth shut. She had a million comebacks about his cheap ass but she didn't want to look like a bitch in front of Jake. Like a true gentleman he defended her, his jaw set. "Don't worry about it, Hyde. I'm pretty sure I can afford to take my girlfriend out to dinner."

Hyde's gaze met Jake's in surprise and maybe a little respect. Jackie beamed and hooked her arm thru Jake's. He smiled down at her and Hyde felt a sinking sensation in his gut. There was something there between them and he didn't like it. Some kind of connection and why wouldn't there be? They both came from money, they had both been really popular in school and they were both really good looking. Freakin' gorgeous actually he thought as he eyed Jackie in the tight red dress she wore. She and Jake were the perfect couple-even their names sounded cute together. Sickeningly cute.

Donna stood up and shook out her skirt. "We should probably get going. Our reservations are for eight o'clock."

Jake gave Hyde a tight smile and taking Jackie's hand he led her out the door. Donna and Eric exchanged a glance after noticing the glum look on Hyde's face. Eric patted his shoulder, "See you later."

"Yeah, Happy Valentine's Day," Donna smiled.

Hyde snorted. "Yeah, right. Enjoy your overpriced , overcooked meal and Forman's lame attempt at seducing you later tonight, Pinciotti."

"Oh, she will! Believe it, Hyde," Eric smirked and followed his chuckling lady love out of the Hub.


	4. Chapter 4

For Hyde that winter plodded along, one long cold day after another. Every day except Sunday found him at Grooves, making sure W.B. didn't regret giving him the store. Time went a little faster if Eric worked with him or Fez stopped by but he couldn't remember a winter that had been so miserable. Most evenings' were spent at home, his ass parked in front of the t.v. or in his room listening to music. Zeppelins' "Since I've been lovin' you" got a lot of play until one night, half baked and half asleep, he swore Jackie was laying next to him. She had always liked that song. They used to make out to it a lot. After that night he never played it again.

Kelso came up from Chicago one weekend in early March and they hung out. Most of it was a blur. They had partied pretty hard Saturday night and when Hyde woke up on Sunday morning he had a vague feeling of unease. Cracking open one eye he saw a pair of women's boots on the floor next to the bed and then a warm hand stroked his shoulder. He closed his eyes and sighed-may as well face the music. He rolled over and came face to face with Racquel, the biker chick he had gone out with once just to piss Jackie off. She smiled at him with drowsy eyes.  
"Hey babe, " she said in her throaty voice.

"Hey Racquel-uh-how are you?"

She laughed and pressed her sizable rack against his chest. "I'm good-real good. You don't remember much about last night, do you?"

"Sorry, guess I was pretty wasted," he said. She looked a little rougher than he remembered but she was decent looking and ready for more apparently as her hands moved lower on his body.

"You were but that's okay. You're a lot of fun when you're wasted, Hyde."

What the hell, he thought and pulled her on top of him. Afterwards they smoked a joint and had a few laughs. She had a dry sense of humor and hated some of the same things he did. Reaching across him for her cigarettes she asked, "Say, whatever happened to that snobby little princess you used to date?"

"Jackie? She's still around. She's going out with Jake Bradley. Remember him?"

"Sure, who doesn't? We graduated the same year. He was pretty hot-in a preppy, trust fund kind of way.

They would actually make a cute couple. I never could see what you saw in her," she lay down next to him and passed him her lit cigarette.

"Nah, I'm trying to quit," he said.

"Really? So weed doesn't count, huh?" she laughed.

He shrugged, "One vice at a time."

"Yeah, right. You'll always be a burnout, Hyde." She took a drag and blew the smoke in his face. Annoyed he waved it away. "That's what I like about you," she winked. When she reached across him to stub out her cigarette the feel of her breasts was no longer stimulating but oddly suffocating.

"You want something to drink?" he asked, getting out of the bed and pulling on his jeans. She was eyeing him up like a piece of raw meat and he just wanted her gone. Still, he had some manners left and it wouldn't be cool to just shove her out the door.

"Sure, whatever you got. Hurry back though. I'm ready for another round," she called after him. He left the room as quickly as he could without it looking like he was trying to escape. Shutting his door behind him he padded barefoot out to the rec room then stopped short when he saw Jackie sitting in his chair. He stared at her, his mouth falling open a little bit.

"Hi Steven," she stood up, her big eyes on his bare chest. He was as lean and muscular as she remembered and she couldn't help her gaze from following the arrow of dark hair down his abdomen to where it disappeared into the waist of his low slung jeans.

"Jackie, what are you doing here?" Damn, she looked good. Her dark hair curled around her pretty face and she wore pink lip gloss-his favorite shade on her. She wore a frilly white blouse and a skirt that hit her boots. Boots! Crap! He remembered that Racquel was in his room. God, he hoped she stayed quiet in there.

"I'm waiting for Donna. We're supposed to go shopping," Jackie explained, her tone friendlier than it had been lately.

"Oh, well-she isn't here," he stammered, feeling like an idiot.

"Do you mind if I wait?"

"Uh-maybe you should see if she's upstairs-or go say hi to Mrs. Forman," he suggested, rubbing the back of his neck with a nervous hand.

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, "I already did. What's going on?"

His bedroom door opened and Racquel, dressed in only her panties and one of his t-shirts came out, scraping her dark blonde hair off her face.

"Oh, hey midget," she sneered and gave Jackie the once over. Jackie's face went still and as usual when she smelled trash, she turned up her nose.

" I'll just go upstairs. Sorry to disturb your little orgy," she waved a hand in Racquels' direction and muttered "skank" as she turned towards the stairs.

"It's only an orgy if there are more than two people. Want to join us, Princess? Oh, wait-Hyde's been there, done that. Guess he's moved up in the world, huh?" the biker chick smirked.

Jackie's amber eyes shot to her ex's face but he was staring at the floor, arms crossed over his chest. He obviously wouldn't be defending her from this slut. Not that she had expected it but part of her had hoped he would. So she tossed her hair over her shoulder and headed for the stairs. "If you call sleeping with random biker trash on an old cot in a smelly basement moving up then so be it. What can you expect from someone who thinks getting high is the best thing in life?"

Hyde found his voice before she reached the landing. "What _is _the best thing in life, Jackie?"

She looked him over, from his curly hair to his bare feet. Eyes that had been warm were now cold and hard. "Why should I tell you? You don't care anyway," and she was gone.

The room was silent for several minutes until Racquel wrapped her arms around him and said in her raspy voice " That was rough. So, you wanna go back to your room?"

He pushed her off him. "No. Sorry but I think you should leave."

A few minutes later she was putting on her jacket and he was sitting in his chair with his head in his hands.

"Guess you aren't over her, huh?" she asked and he looked up at her. She gave him a wry smile. "It's okay. I had a good time. You take care, Hyde."

He nodded and watched as she closed the door behind her.

After that incident Jackie avoided the basement as much as she could. If she had to go to the Forman's she made sure to never venture downstairs. Steven lurked down there like a troll under a bridge and she had no desire to see him again. Sometimes she couldn't remember why she had ever thought he was the one. The Steven she used to know seemed like a different person now. The curly haired boy with the laughing blue eyes was a grim faced stranger with an ugly mustache who seemed to exist only to hurt her.

She knew she had changed too but she liked to think it was for the better. Being with Jake had eased some of the tightness around her heart and some of her confidence had come back. When she thought about last year when she'd lost Steven to her own demands and a bleached blonde stripper she thought about the angry, broken girl she had become. She had struggled to find a way out of her despair and settled on Fez, who treated her like a queen but in the end she couldn't think of him as anything but a friend.

Jake was a great boyfriend. He made her feel special without catering to her every demand. He listened to her and encouraged her but he didn't spoil her. Sure, he had money and took her to nice places but she appreciated it and made sure he knew it. When he told her she was pretty she believed him because he wasn't always trying to get in her pants like Michael or Fez. She hadn't felt especially sexy ever since Steven decided to stay with his stupid, silicone breasted whore of a wife.

The first time she and Jake went all the way she had cried afterward. Not so he could see-she went into his bathroom and stifled her sobs in a towel. She told herself it was because she was so relieved. She had been so afraid she wouldn't enjoy it with anyone but Steven but it had been good. Not mind blowing like it was with Steven but she knew it would get better because she was determined to make this work. Jake actually wanted to be with her. She didn't have to pull his feelings out of him or force him to say he loved her. He did it all on his own, just a few days after they slept together for the first time. She told him she loved him too. Maybe not with the same intensity as she had loved Steven but where had that gotten her anyway? When the spring semester was over and Jake asked her to marry him she didn't have to think too hard about her answer. He wanted to take care of her and honestly, as much as she had matured, she was still a girl who wanted to be taken care of and so she said yes.


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you sure, honey? It seems a little soon to be thinking of marriage, don't you think?" Mrs. Forman asked, pouring coffee for Jackie and Donna as they sat at her kitchen table.

"That's what I told her, Mrs. Forman." Donna reached for a brownie but Jackie slapped her hand.

"Lay off the sweets, lumberjack. You need to look good if you're going to be my maid of honor."

Donna grinned, "I'm going to be your maid of honor? Wow, Jackie, thanks!"

"Of course you are. You've been my best friend since tenth grade."

Donna picked nervously at her napkin, "I haven't always been a good friend. Like when Sam first got here…"

Jackie waved her hand, "We won't talk about that tramp. Besides that's all in the past and I'm moving on. I deserve to be happy," her voice caught.

"Of course you do, dear," Mrs. Forman patted her hand. She liked Jake but he wasn't her Steven and she had always thought he belonged with the bossy little Burkhardt girl. But she could understand why Jackie wanted to move on and as long as she was happy Kitty would support her. Steven had made the wrong decision when he let Samantha stay and his behavior towards Jackie had been awful. As far as she knew he had never apologized for it and it had been nearly a year since Sam left. He had grown up some-he worked more and partied less but he still lived in their basement and showed no signs of wanting Jackie back so maybe this was the best thing for everyone. Kitty poured herself a cup of coffee and leaned over to admire the engagement ring glittering on the brunettes' small hand. She had expected her to be more excited but maybe Jackie's placid demeanor was a sign of her growing up too.

Hyde had to park on the street because there was a new red camaro parked in the Forman's driveway. He was going to go in thru the sliding glass door when he saw Jackie standing at the stove, stirring something in a pot while Mrs. Forman chopped vegetables on the cutting board next to her. Donna was setting the table and must have heard him because she looked up and flashed him a smile, which disappeared when he shook his head and turned away. She felt bad for him. It was pretty obvious to her that he missed Jackie. She wondered how he would react when he heard she was engaged.

Hyde went around to the front door, intending to cut thru the living room to the basement stairs. He really didn't want to run into Jackie. He still felt pretty crappy about the whole Racquel business.

"Steven! I'm glad you're home," Red greeted him. "We're watching the Brewers game. Join us."

He was downright jovial, which was unusual. Sitting on the couch was Jake Bradley, obviously the owner of the expensive car in the driveway, a can of Red's Old Milwaukee in his hand.

"Say, you know Jackie's fiancé, don't you?" Red asked, an almost malicious smirk on his face. Jake stood up and held out his hand.

Hyde moved as if in a fog to shake it. "Fiance, huh? Uh, congratulations, man."  
"Thanks," Jake said. Hyde stood awkwardly still with his arms at his sides. He couldn't believe it but then again this was Jackie and she had always wanted to get married. Bradley was a decent guy as far as he could tell. Maybe this was a good thing for Jackie but damn if it didn't make him want to hurl.

"Uh, excuse me," he mumbled and pushed past Jake. He was just about to the basement stairs when Kitty heard him and called out.

"Steven? Is that you, honey?"

He took a deep breath and walked slowly into the kitchen. "Yeah, Mrs. F. What's up?"

"I'm so glad you're here," she laughed a little nervously. "Jackie, would you like to tell Steven your big news?"

His eyes went from Donna, standing at the table with a sympathetic look on her face, to Jackie. He really didn't want to see her all happy and engaged to another guy but there was no way out of it.

"That's okay. I already heard. Red told me," Hyde mumbled.

"He did? Well, what a spoilsport!" Kitty laughed, hands on her hips.

No one said anything and Jackie turned back to the stove, stirring whatever was in the pot as if her life depended on it.

"Steven, aren't you going to congratulate Jackie?" Kitty reprimanded.

"It's okay, Mrs. Forman," Jackie said. "We all know Steven thinks marriage is a trap invented by organized religion to control the masses."

"No, I said marriage is an antiquated tool of-never mind," he stopped when he saw Mrs. Forman frowning at him .He stepped a little further into the room. " I know you always wanted to get hitched so -uh-congratulations, Jackie."

Jackie nodded and said quietly, "Thank you, Steven."

"Mrs. Forman is teaching Jackie how to cook," Donna filled the silence. "So Jake doesn't starve."

"Would you like to stay for dinner, honey?" Mrs. Forman patted his arm.

"Jackie made it? No, thanks, I think I'll pass. I'd like to keep my teeth," he grinned, remembering when she had baked cookies once to cheer him up and he almost cracked his front tooth. He had ended up sucking on the cookie and later sucking on her to thank her for the thought. A little smile crossed her face and her eyes met his. He was pretty sure she was remembering that part too. When her cheeks turned pink and she looked away he made a quick exit. Donna followed him but he told her to get lost and slammed his bedroom door before she could say anything.

The week after that was a miserable mess- what Hyde remembered of it anyway. He went thru a copious amount of pot and beer. He never left the basement-except to get more pot and beer. Eric worked his hours at the store and didn't ask why. Like a good friend, he just did it. Donna had told him about the devastated look on Hyde's face when he found out about Jackie getting married.

"I felt so bad for him, Eric. He tried to make a joke about it but I could tell he was hurting."

Eric finished counting out the register before he spoke. "Yeah, it's too bad but it's not like we couldn't see it coming. Jackie has always wanted to get married and Jake's a great guy. Don't you think?"

"Yeah, I like him," Donna drawled out, rocking back and forth on her heels like she did when she was thinking hard.

Eric looked up from stuffing the days' earnings in a bank envelope. "So what's the problem? Other than Hyde pouting because Jackie's moved on."

"It's just awfully fast. She's talking about getting married this fall. I mean, what's the rush?"

Eric grabbed his keys and started turning the lights off, Donna following behind. "Maybe she's pregnant?' he joked.

Donna stopped and stared at her boyfriend with worried eyes. "Oh my god! Do you think so?"

"No, I was kidding. Come on, let's go". He ushered her out and locked the door behind them.

Hyde and Fez were watching tv in the basement. One was nursing a beer and the other a tootsie pop when Donna and Eric came in. Hyde glanced at them.

"Everything ok at the store?" he asked.

"Yeah. It was pretty busy. The new Black Sabbath album arrived so all the hopheads came in for it. I thought I'd see you today for sure, " Eric grinned, sitting on the back of the sofa.

"I already got an advance copy.." Hyde chuckled but his eyes drifted to Donna who was staring at him with a frown on her face. "What's up, Big D?"

"Just-well, this is a stupid question," she hesitated.

"Maybe you should ask Fez then so he can give you a stupid answer," he took a hit off his beer.

Fez nodded, too busy with his tootsie pop to say "burn". Donna sighed and sat down next to the foreigner on the tattered couch.

"Hyde, do you think Jackie would deliberately get pregnant so Jake would marry her?"

A scowl crossed Hyde's face and he stood up. "Cripes, Pinciotti. How would I know? She's your best friend."

"It's just that she seems in an awfully big rush to get married. Eric and I thought …"

"No, _you_ thought, m'lady. I was just joking," Eric waved his hands. "Besides, if she thought that would work she would have tried it on Hyde. Right, Hyde?"

Hyde grabbed another beer out of the shower. "Shut up, Forman. Who cares if she's pregnant?" he spat out but his gut told him he didn't like the idea one bit.

Fez had finished his tootsie pop. "Jackie is not pregnant. I would know if she was. She cannot keep a secret from me. Besides, she has not been sick or put on any weight. My goddess is as delicate and slim as ever. Besides she and Jake only did it for the first time a few weeks ago."

"What?" Eric shook his head. "But they've been going out for months."

"Yes, so? Not everyone is as whorey as your sister," Fez frowned.

Hyde laughed, "Nice."

"Wow, I didn't realize-she didn't tell me-well, maybe she knows what she's doing after all," Donna scratched her head.

"What are you talking about? She barely knows the guy and they've only been having sex for a few weeks. Yeah, that's a good reason to marry someone," Hyde scoffed.

"I think it shows maturity that she didn't jump into bed with him right away," Donna crossed her legs.

"I think it shows that Bradley is a pansy to wait that long to sleep with a chick," Hyde smirked.

Fez and Eric laughed but Donna glared at him. "Maybe he's a gentleman. Love isn't always about sex, you know," she snapped.

"Oh yeah? How long did you and Forman wait to do the nasty after he got back from Africa?"

Donnas' face turned as red as her hair. Eric grinned and pumped his fist. She smacked his leg and turned back to Hyde. "That's different and anyway, Jake proposed so he wasn't just trying to get in her pants. He loves her enough to commit. Unlike some people I know."

That was too close to the bone but no way would Hyde let her know it. " Whatever, dear Abby. Can we talk about something else?"

Fez bounced in his seat. "Oh, I know! We can talk about the bachelor party! Do you think there will be strippers?"

"Not unless Jake has a death wish," Donna laughed, watching Hyde out of the corner of her eye.

"That's true. She wouldn't want to lose another guy to a stripper." Eric nodded.

"By the way, Hyde," Fez lisped "Whatever happened to your lying slut of a fake wife?"

"Don't know, don't care" he muttered and got up to leave. He'd had enough. "Later, losers."


	6. Chapter 6

Hyde spent the rest of the night driving aimlessly around town or so he thought until he realized he'd driven by Jackie and Fez' apartment a half dozen times. It was late. The lights were out and she'd be asleep by now, probably not alone. Even if she were alone what would that matter? It's not like he had anything to say to her. Besides talking was the last thing that came to mind when he thought of her, which was too damn often for his piece of mind. He ended up parked at the lake, staring out across water as smooth and still as a mirror, remembering all the times they used to come here. Sometime around two a.m he realized he had a serious problem.

"Shit," he mumbled, popping open a beer from the six pack he'd bought. He turned the radio up to muffle the sound of her voice, her laughter from his mind but it didn't keep the memories away. When the weather was decent-hell, even when it wasn't-this was one of their favorite places. It was where they had their first date when they kissed on the hood of her Daddy's car. They had spent a lot of time here-listening to music, skinny dipping, talking, making out. Yeah, those were good times. He missed it and hell, he missed her.

God, he was tired and a little drunk. He closed his eyes and when he woke the sun was just coming up. The lake was glowing like a pearl in the soft pink light. If he didn't have to go in to the store today he might have just kicked back and gone to sleep again. Turning the ignition on he drove slowly away, reluctant to put away all the memories of Jackie and the time they'd spent here. He knew he needed to do it. She was getting married for God's sake and even if she wasn't, they were over. Every time they broke up it hurt worse, if that was possible.

He was coming up on Main street and not paying much attention as he turned the corner. Something or someone dashed across the street in front of him. Swearing, he hit the brakes and looked over his shoulder at what or who he had nearly hit. Standing on the side of the road, eyes wide and breathing hard, was the girl he had been thinking about all night.

"Christ," he threw the car into park and jumped out. He came around the car towards her and she stumbled back. She would have fallen if he hadn't reached out and grabbed her.

"Are you okay? Damn, Jackie…"

She nodded and bent over with her hands on her knees. It was then that he noticed what she was wearing-running shoes, a tiny pair of shorts and a tight little t-shirt. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her face, when she straightened up, was makeup free and flushed. She looked like she was fourteen years old. She looked like the girl Kelso brought to the Forman's basement all those years ago. The snobby princess he'd hated for her bossy attitude and her hold over Kelso. It wasn't until he got to know her better that he secretly thought Kelso was a lucky son of a bitch.

"What the hell are you doing out this early? It's barely light out. I almost hit you," and his stomach rolled at the thought of it.

She had gone pale and her eyes were huge. An adrenaline rush probably. He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards his car. He opened the door and pushed her in. She didn't resist-a sure sign that she wasn't herself. He came around and got in the driver's side. "Are you okay? Here, put your head between your knees," he pushed on the back of her head. She threw him a disgusted look and he laughed. "I didn't mean-I just don't want you passing out."

She swatted his hand away. "I'm okay. I just need to catch my breath."

He watched as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes, long lashes thick and dark on her flushed cheeks. Her breath came out in little puffs from her plump, pink lips. Lips he used to kiss all the time and that he wanted to kiss now. She raised her hand to brush a loose curl off her forehead and he saw the diamond ring on her finger. It was like getting sucker punched and when he spoke his voice was harsh.  
"So what are you doing out at this time of the morning and dressed like that?"

Her eyes flew open, "Not that it's any of your business but I was jogging."

A crackle of laughter shot out of him. "Jogging? You? What the hell for?"

She glared at him. "Yes, me-jogging. To keep in shape, obviously. Since I don't have cheerleading anymore I needed someway to exercise and Jake suggested it."

"Oh, right. Jake," he sneered.

"Yes, Jake. My fiancé," she snapped back at him. "I like to run before it gets too hot out. I didn't realize wasted potheads were out speeding around so early. Don't you usually sleep till noon?"

"I'm not wasted," he snarled. _Not anymore,_ he thought. She looked down at the empty beer cans on the floor and raised her eyebrows. His mouth opened to respond but he snapped it shut. Let her think what she wanted. She reached for the door handle.

"Whatever, Steven. I have to finish my run. I need to make sure I can fit into my wedding dress."

He had always disparaged the institution of marriage but the idea of her getting hitched to someone other than himself bothered him. In fact, it hurt like hell but she didn't know that and even if she did, he deserved it. He'd been a real ass to her and he couldn't seem to stop his crappy behavior towards her but he had to try. As she opened the door and got out he leaned over, "Hey."

"What, Steven?"

God, the way she said his name still got to him. "You don't need to jog. You look great, doll. You've still got the best ass in the Midwest."

She returned his grin with one of her own. "I know," and she tossed her head so her ponytail swung back and forth. "But thanks anyway."

He flashed back to all those autumn nights in high school when he'd sat on the cold metal bleachers and watched her cheer. Man, he missed that and a hundred other things about her.

"Well, I've gotta go. See you around," she said and he realized he'd been staring. He cleared his throat, "Yeah, okay. Take care, Jackie."

Her smile was a little wistful and his heart clenched. "You too, Steven" and then she was gone, crossing the street, ponytail bouncing as she ran. A pickup truck coming down the street slowed and the driver watched her jog down the sidewalk. Pervert, Hyde thought. "Crap," He muttered to himself and put the camino in drive. He followed her until she turned down the street she and Fez lived on, telling himself he just wanted to be sure she got home safely but there was more to it than that and he knew it. As she approached her building she looked over her shoulder and give him a little wave. Hitting the gas he sped past her and didn't stop until he got to the Forman's driveway.

A few days after her chance encounter with Hyde, Jackie was alone in Jake's apartment. She let out a tired sigh and plopped down on the new semi circular couch. She looked around the room, finally satisfied that it looked good. It wasn't a huge room but her design made it seem more spacious. The "toasted almond" wall color gave it warmth and the black leather couch was both comfortable and sleek. The white armchairs and brown cushions were sophisticated and the art work, what was left from her parent's home, gave it a finished, expensive look. She had picked up accessories from some of her favorite shops in town that gave it character and lent a personal touch to the room. Overall, she thought she had done a pretty good job decorating the apartment that would be hers too-after they were married. Jake had been trying to persuade her to move in now but she told him she didn't want to leave Fez stuck with her half of the rent at their place and besides, she told him with a flutter of her eyelashes, it would be more special if they waited until he could carry her over the threshold.

She grabbed her camera and started taking photos, tweaking things as she went. She would have remodeled anyway but the fact that she could take credit for it in her Contemporary Design class was a nice bonus. She didn't hear the front door open and let out a screech when strong arms wrapped around her from behind.

"Jake! Oh my god, you scared me to death!" she gasped, a hand pressed to her heart.

"Sorry," he laughed and pecked her cheek. "Hey, the place looks great!"

"You think so?"

"Yeah, I like it," he stood in the center of the room looking around. Jackie frowned, something wasn't right. The room seemed off to her now, as if Jake being in it made it off balance, which was weird because she had kept him in mind the whole while she was working on it. When he turned to smile at her she blinked several times, realizing there was nothing wrong with the room. It was the man standing in it. He wasn't the one she had dreamt of making a home with-he wasn't Steven. He looked at her with concern and she felt terrible. Here was a kind, loving man who put her happiness first and wanted a future with her. She had to let go of that old dream, no matter how much it hurt.

"What is it, sweetheart? Are you okay?"

"Yes-it's nothing," she forced a smile. "I guess I'm just tired and hungry."

Concern creasing his brow he pulled her into his arms. "Well then, how's about I take you to dinner? Then we can come back here and have a nice quiet evening."

"That sounds good," she pressed her face against his chest and waited for the warmth of his embrace to melt away the cold knot in her chest.


	7. Chapter 7

June 1980

"Is that everything, Forman?" Hyde asked as he shoved another box in the back of the Vista Cruiser.

"Yeah, I think so. Let's see," Eric checked the clipboard he held. "Start Wars models, Star Wars action figures, G.I. Joe's-"

"Eric, I told you not to pack all that stuff. Where are we going to keep it all? The apartment is only one bedroom," Donna complained.

"Eric, honey, you can leave all your dolls here, in your bedroom. That way when you come home on the weekends you can play with them. Your room will be like you never –never left," Kitty waved a hand in front of her face, blinking rapidly. "Oh, Eric," she warbled. "I'm going to miss you!"

"It's okay. Mom," Eric hugged her. "I'll call every day."

"You promise?" she sobbed.

"For God's sake, Kitty. We're finally getting rid of him. He doesn't need to be calling collect every damn day," Red groused but he patted his son on the back. "Once a week is plenty," and he slipped Eric a twenty "for gas".

"Mrs. Forman, we'll be back in a few weeks for the fourth of July," Donna reassured her boyfriends' mother.

"Oh, that's right. Okay then. Good," she wiped her tears and tried to smile. "We'll see you then but be sure to call me when you get to Madison so I don't worry." She hugged the tall redhead and kissed Eric. "Drive safe, honey," she said and let Red lead her back inside.

Leaning against the Cruiser, Hyde felt like he was intruding on a private moment even though they would never think so. Eric and Donna were finally moving to Madison so they could settle in before the Fall semester started at the UW. Jackie had decorated their new apartment and even Eric grudgingly admitted she had done a nice job. Hyde was happy for his two oldest friends. Well, not exactly happy because he didn't _do _happy but he knew they were eager to start their life together. He was going to miss the hell out of them though. As if reading his mind, which they had both gotten pretty good at over the years, Eric came towards him.

"So, man," he held out his arms. Grimacing, Hyde reluctantly let his skinny best friend hug him. "Okay, Forman-that's enough," he pushed him away after a few seconds. "It's not like your going to Africa again. Madison's only a couple of hours away."

"That's right so you come see us soon, Hyde," Donna wrapped her arms around him. "I'll miss you," she whispered in his ear. He squeezed her tight.

"Me too, Big D," he said and as they pulled apart Fez' piece of shit car rattled into the driveway. Jackie jumped out of the passenger side and dashed towards Donna.

"Oh thank god! We didn't miss you!" she gasped.

"I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, midget," Donna smiled.

"I would," Eric grumbled and Hyde chuckled.

"Oh, shut up, nerd boy," Jackie's high heels clacked on the pavement as she pushed Eric out of her way. She looked pretty in a pink sun dress, her long hair down around her tan shoulders.

"Oh, Eric! I am going to miss you, my friend." Fez came around the car, tears pooling in his dark eyes.

"Oh, Christ," Hyde groaned. "He's not dying, man."

"Shut up, you heartless bastard." Fez glared at the curly haired man now sitting on the hood of the Cruiser then he crushed Eric in a powerful hug. Eric struggled for a second then relented, patting Fez on the back.

"Oh, Donna! I got you a housewarming present," Jackie rushed back to the car and pulled a large wicker basket from the back seat. It must have been heavy because she staggered a little. Hyde was next to her in a second to take it from her.

"Here, let me help you," he muttered. Startled, her amber eyes widened.

"Thank you, Steven," she said quietly and looked away.

"What's this, Jackie? You didn't have to get us anything," Donna smiled.

"I know but I wanted to," the little brunette said, gesturing towards the basket Hyde still held. "There is an old Russian tradition where a new home is blessed with these gifts." Like Carol Merrill on "Let's Make A Deal'" she pulled each item from the basket as she displayed it, then described it. "A loaf of bread so you may never know hunger. Wine so you shall never know thirst. Salt to give your life flavor and honey to give your life sweetness. And finally, a candle to light the way."

"Hey, devil, that's actually kind of cool," Eric smiled. Jackie looked at him dubiously as he took the basket from Hyde. "Really, it was nice. I guess Jake is a good influence on you. Thanks, Jackie." He didn't notice the frown on Hyde's face but Donna did as she took her best friend in her arms.

" I know that was all you, Jackie," she said. "I'm going to miss you, tiny loser."

Jackie sniffed. "I'll miss you too, lumberjack."

Eric and Hyde shifted uncomfortably while the two girls hugged but Fez grinned like he pervert he was. "That's it. Now give her a kiss, Donna. Jackie, squeeze her ass."

"Eeww!" the two girls pulled apart and Jackie glared at the foreigner. "Freak," Donna laughed and let him hug her but only for a couple of seconds before she pushed him away.

"Well, I guess we should hit the road," Eric said, rubbing his hands together.

"Wait, man, I got you something too," Hyde pulled a small brown paper bag out of his back pocket. "Oregano-so your new home always has awesomeness."

Everyone laughed, even Jackie.

"Thanks, man. Now we really have everything we need," Eric grinned, sniffing the bag. After another round of hugs and goodbyes Eric and Donna were gone- for a few weeks anyway. The three left behind stood in the driveway and watched the tail lights of the Vista Cruiser fade away. Wrapping her arms around herself Jackie walked towards Fez' car, her face sad and a little lost.

" Hyde, what are you doing tonight? Would you like to hang out?" Fez asked, pulling a bag of M & M's out of his pants pocket. He offered some to Hyde, who shook his head.

"Man, how do you not weigh 300 pounds?"

Fez shrugged and munched away happily. "So, do you want to do something?"

"Sure but what about Jackie? She won't want to hang out with us," he glanced at the brunette. She was leaning against Fezs'car, staring down at her shoes.

"Why not? Goddess, do you have any plans tonight?" he called to her.

She looked up, startled. "No. Why?"

"Where's the fiancé? Did you let him off the leash?" Hyde sneered. Damn it, why did he always have to give her a hard time? She frowned at him as if she were wondering the same thing. "Not that it's any of your business, _Steven_, but he's opening a new store in Des Moines."

"Why didn't you go with him, princess? I'm surprised you would let him out of your sight," he goaded.

"It's Des Moines. Why would I want to go there?" she tossed her hair. "Besides, I actually trust my boyfriend-and he trusts me."

"Yeah, I'll bet," he scoffed. "As long as Kelso's not around."

"Oh, please! You were the one with the trust issues." Her eyes were flashing as she walked towards him. She never looked hotter than when she was mad and he could feel his body respond, even though he didn't want it to. He shouldn't think of her that way anymore but she was so freakin' gorgeous and yeah, he'd jump at the chance to do her again.

She was so close she was almost touching him and honest to God, the air seemed to crackle between them. Her eyes were snapping with temper.  
"If you weren't so paranoid you would have known I love you too much to ever cheat on you," her mouth dropped open a little when she realized what she had said. He reached out and with a finger under her chin, closed her mouth. A slow smile spread across his face and she took a step back, looking confused. She shook her head and pushing past him, she hurried to the patio door. "Let me know when you're ready to leave, Fez," she called back and shut the door with a bang behind her. Hyde grimaced, arms hanging at his sides. _Crap, why do I let her get to me?_

"What the hell was that?" Fez half whispered, the empty M & M's bag crumpled in his hands.

Hyde shot him an angry look. "Nothin', man. It was nothin'," and he stomped off to the basement stairs at the back of the house.


	8. Chapter 8

Authors Note: Thank you all for the very kind reviews. I appreciate it. This should be about 20 chapters in all-hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think!

The fourth of July fell on a Friday so it looked like it was going to a long hot weekend of picnics, beer and fireworks. The Forman's decided to kick off the holiday with a bbq starting in the late afternoon on Friday followed by sparklers and bottle rockets in the backyard at dusk. Kelso had come up from Chicago with Brooke and Betsy. They were staying at his folks' house and if Hyde knew anything about his goofy ass friend there would be more than just smoke bombs and snakes going off after nightfall.

Fez had helped Donna decorate the garage and backyard with balloons and streamers while Eric and Hyde helped set up tables and chairs. The smell of pork ribs drifted from the grill manned by Red while Kitty brought out macaroni salad, baked beans and her famous ambrosia salad. The keg was in a bucket of ice in the shade of the garage so the beer was good and cold, just the way Hyde liked it. Friends and neighbors came to eat and stayed to visit as the sun slowly sunk towards the horizon. By the time Jackie showed up, fiancé in tow, Hyde was just mellow enough from the beer and the toke he had enjoyed with his friends in the basement so that he was feeling a little nostalgic.

Seeing her flitting around chatting with everyone, dressed in shorts and a tank top made him remember the last fourth of July they had been together . They had all driven to Door County in the Vista Cruiser to watch the fireworks over Lake Michigan. After the sun set the breeze off the lake had cooled it off several degrees and Jackie was shivering in her sundress. He had grabbed a blanket out of the car and wrapped it around the two of them. He smiled, remembering that he had watched the fireworks reflected in her big eyes as he did very fun and dirty things to her under the protection of the blanket.

He must have been staring at her because Donna, seated next to him, nudged him and asked if he was okay.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," he nodded and took a sip of his beer, eyes straying in Jackie's direction again.

"She looks really pretty, doesn't she?" Donna asked quietly.

"Yeah," he mumbled then realized he'd been caught. He cleared his throat, "Yeah, Brooke looks hot. Kelso's a lucky s.o.b."'

"Sure," Eric nodded. "But I think m'lady was talking about Jackie. I hate to admit it but she is looking good. I guess being in love will give a woman a certain glow."

Hyde rolled his eyes. "God, Forman. You are such a girl." But watching the smile spread across Jackie's face when Jake joined her he couldn't help but think Forman was on to something. He remembered when Jackie used to look at him like that and how it had made him feel.

"So, the wedding's in a couple of months. Are you going to come, Hyde?" Donna asked, looking at her old friend with curiosity in her gray eyes.

"Hell no," he scoffed. "Marriage is nothing but an obsolete institution perpetuated by organized religion to keep the masses subservient."

Eric was laughing. "Wow, man, you've really given it a lot of thought."

"Shit, it doesn't take a lot of thought to know marriage is for the mindless hordes." He hadn't noticed Mrs. Forman had come up behind him until her hands fell on his shoulders and she kissed the top of his head.

"Oh, you poor boy. Your parents were a terrible example. Did Mr. Forman and I not show you what a good marriage can be like?"

He could feel embarrassment reddening his face. He felt bad because the Forman's devotion to each other had actually given him hope until everything with Jackie fell apart. "I'm sorry, Mrs. F. I didn't mean…"

"Its' okay, Steven. Someday when you find the right girl you'll change your mind about marriage."

Donna and Eric were smiling at each other. Hyde groaned and Eric chuckled. "Can you imagine Hyde proposing?" In his best Hyde voice he rasped, "Hey –uh-yeah," he cleared his throat. "Do you-uh-you know. Whatever."

Mrs. Forman and Donna giggled but Hyde was silent, remembering when he had followed Jackie to Chicago, a ring in his pocket and a speech already memorized.

Donna saw his mouth tighten and decided to probe a little further, wondering what was behind the bleak look on his face.

"I think Jake's proposal was very romantic," she said and Kitty clapped her hands.

"Oh, yes! The Vineyard is such a wonderful place for a proposal," she said.

Hyde's eyebrows shot up. "Bradley popped the question at the Vineyard? Cripes, how lame. If I had proposed to Jackie I wouldn't have done it at that overpriced fake French chateau. I'd have done something original like…" he snapped his mouth shut when he realized they were all staring at him. He'd said too much. He stood up, "I need another beer."

Kitty watched her foster son walk away then she sank into his vacated chair. "Oh, my. Steven is still in love with Jackie," she whispered.

Donna nodded glumly. "I'm afraid so."

"What should we do?" Kitty hands were pressed against her heart.

Although his face was sympathetic Eric's voice wasn't. "We don't do anything, Mom. Hyde's like a brother but he blew it with Jackie. After everything he put her thru she deserves to be happy and if Jake can do that then we shouldn't interfere."

Donna bit her lip but didn't say anything. Impressed with her son's resolve Kitty nodded. "You're right, honey. As much as I wish those two had worked things out, it's water under the bridge. Now," she stood up and smoothed her culotte. "I sure could use a beverage! And I'd better check on your father to make sure he isn't being stingy with the burgers."

Elbows on her knees, Donna leaned towards Eric. "Where did all this concern for Jackie come from? She's never been your favorite person."

"Yeah, I know but she's not so bad anymore. I really think being with Jake has made her a nicer person."

"Maybe. I don't know. She doesn't seem like herself anymore."

"And that's a bad thing? You can't honestly tell me you miss her calling you lumberjack or making fun of your clothes" Eric laughed.

"Actually I do miss it. It was kind of our thing, you know." She shrugged, red hair glinting like copper in the late afternoon sun. Eric stared it as if hypnotized. She swatted his leg to get his attention. "Yeah she could be bitchy but that was her, you know. Kelso's a moron, Fez is a pervert, Hyde's a burnout, Jackie's a bitch." She shrugged.

"So what are we?" Eric gestured between them.

"We're the perfect couple, of course" she smiled and brushed his lips with hers. When she leaned back in her lawn chair she saw Jackie holding Betsy in her arms and giving the giggling little girl eskimo kisses. "You know Jackie always used to go on and on about how Hyde made her feel, how much she loved him. She never talks about Jake that way. All she says is that he's good to her and he loves her but she never says she loves him."

Eric frowned. "That doesn't sound like Jackie. She's always so over the top with her emotions."

Donnas' gray eyes lit up. "I know, right? And this is kind of gross but she always used to tell me how great sex was with Hyde. About all the crazy stuff they used to do together but she has never _once _dished on her and Jake's sex life."

"Oh my god! You know what this means? Jackie has been abducted and an alien has taken over her body!" Eric gasped.

Donna laughed. "Okay, make fun if you want but can you honestly say Hyde is happier without her?"

They both looked towards their curly haired friend lounging in a lawn chair next to the keg, eyes hidden behind his shades and a disgruntled look on his face. He ignored the cute girl trying to get his attention but when Jackie walked past he sat up a little and his eyes followed her.

Eric shook his head. "No, I'd say he's pretty miserable but we shouldn't get involved."

"Eric, he's your best friend!" Donna protested.

"He's also a grown ass man who needs to face up to his mistakes then do something about it. _Without_ hurting anyone else in the process."

A soft smile crossed Donnas' face. " When did you get so smart, Forman?"

He smiled back and looked down at their entwined hands. "I had a lot of time to think about how I screwed things up while I was in Africa and I will never-_never_-leave you again. If Jackie means as much to Hyde as you mean to me, he needs to tell her."

Donna blinked back the tears in her eyes. "Maybe he will," she said as they watched Hyde follow Jackie into the house.


	9. Chapter 9

Hyde tried to look casual as he entered the kitchen but couldn't hold back a grin at the sight of Jackie's rear end sticking up as she bent over, rummaging in the fridge.

"Looking for something?" he asked, stepping up behind her.

"Oh!" she squeaked, bumping her head on the Frigidaire as she straightened up. "Steven, you scared me."

"Sorry," he grinned. She pouted as she rubbed her head. Man, he missed that pout even though it had been her weapon of choice when she wanted something. He'd always had a hard time resisting it. He must have been staring because her eyes dropped and she fiddled with the tab on the soda can she had pulled out of the fridge. He took it from her hand.

"You don't like the Piggly Wiggly soda Mrs. F buys?"

She grimaced. "No, that stuff is awful. I knew Kitty kept a stash of the good stuff in here so," she shrugged.

He popped open the soda and handed it to her, like he always used to do so she wouldn't chip her nail polish. A little smile crossed her face. "Thank you, Steven."

"Sure," he said and stepped back so she could close the fridge. He remembered that day long ago when they were sneaking around and trying to keep it a secret. Mrs. Forman had caught them making out in front of the fridge and they had both denied they were a couple. That was one of the first stupid mistakes he made where she was concerned. He should have claimed her as his from the start. She stepped around him but he grabbed her arm.

"Jackie, wait," his voice was low.

Her heavily lashed amber eyes raised to his then darted away. "Jake's waiting for me."

A scowl settled on his face. "Like I give a rat's ass about that jock. Let him wait."

"Steven!" she tried to pull away but he tightened his grip. "What do you have against him?"

"He's got you," he half snarled and pulled her closer. They were only inches apart now and he could have sworn the temperature in the room rose twenty degrees despite the central air conditioning Red had finally installed. Her plump mouth was shiny with lip gloss. Pink shimmer, if he wasn't mistaken. As if she knew what he was thinking she leaned closer. Hell, she'd always been able to read him better than anyone. His heart rate sped up but instead of pressing her soft lips against his, she murmured.

"You didn't want me. He does and I'm not going to let you do this to me."

"Do what to you, Jackie?" he pushed her against the counter and leaned into her.

"This," she gestured between them. "You're playing games with me and I don't like it. I'm not sixteen anymore, Steven. And I'm not your girlfriend. I'm getting married in a couple of months to someone who isn't afraid to say he loves me."

She had him there. He'd been a chicken shit when it came to admitting his feelings for her and look where it had gotten him-missing her like hell and about to lose her for good. As usual when his emotions got a stranglehold on him the words wouldn't come so he pressed his face against her soft hair and clutched her to him. Her hands came up to his chest and rested there for a moment. Her voice when she spoke was choked with tears.

"I never thought I'd say this to you but please, let go of me, Steven."

Desperate, he touched his lips to her neck and whispered her name. She used to love it when he did that.

"Stop, please," she whimpered. "Don't do this to me."

"Do what?" he feathered kisses up her neck to her jaw. God, it felt incredible to hold her again-her body so warm and right against his. When she didn't answer he glanced up at her, shocked to see tears swimming in her big eyes and her bottom lip trembling. His grip loosened and she took the opportunity to pull away from him. She didn't look back as she hurried out of the room. Leaning against the counter he saw the soda he had opened for her and he grabbed it. He turned and hurled it at the swinging door that separated the kitchen from the living room. "Damn it," he swore. Taking a deep breath he tried to find his zen but failed so he grabbed a dishcloth to clean up the mess he'd made.

On the other side of the door, Jake Bradley stepped back. He hurried across the living room and went out quietly thru the front door. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop. He'd come in to use the bathroom and overheard his fiancée and her ex talking. He almost interrupted them when he heard Jackie beg Hyde to stop. He couldn't see them but it was pretty obvious what was going on. Before he decided what he should do it was over. He heard Jackie's sandals clattering across the kitchen floor then something hit the door with a loud thud. He knew Hyde's reputation and didn't want to confront him-especially if he was worked up. Besides, he could understand Hyde still having feelings for Jackie. As long as it didn't go any further he saw no reason to say anything about it.

Over the next few weeks Jackie tried to avoid being in the same place at the same time as Steven. Not any easy task in a town as small as Point Place. Once she pulled in for gas and saw Steven filling up the el Camino so she drove past, turning her face away. Another time she had to hide out in the girls' bathroom at the Hub when he came in for lunch. Today she had decided to go to the mall in between classes to pick up a few things. No danger of running into Steven there. He hated the mall.

Walking past the food court her stomach reminded her she hadn't eaten yet so she grabbed a soda and a burger. If she hurried she would just make it back for her Kitchen and Bath Design class. Sipping her soda and distracted by a really cute dress in Halverson's display window she didn't see him until she bumped into him. Strong hands grabbed her shoulders to steady her and smiling blue eyes met her startled ones.

"Hey, grasshopper," he said and her heart stopped for a second before it fell into an erratic beat.


	10. Chapter 10

"You almost knocked me over. What's the rush?" Hyde said, letting go of her. Jackie gave him a nervous smile.

"Sorry, I'm late for class."

"Yeah? How's school going?" he asked, in no hurry himself.

"It's fine. I like it. How are you?" she glanced away. This was so awkward. They were acting like strangers and it made her feel sad.

"I'm good. I'm glad you like school," he said, rubbing the back of his neck like he did when he was uncomfortable.

"Yeah, well," she looked away again, remembering the last time they'd been together on the fourth of July. As if reading her mind he cleared his throat.

"Look, Jackie. I-uh-I want to apologize for the way I acted at the Forman's."

Her eyes shifted back to his face then narrowed suspiciously. The words were right but the set of his jaw told her he didn't mean them. She sighed. " Whatever, Steven. I have to go."

Frustration swept across his face. "I'm trying to apologize here. Don't blow me off."

"Oh, please!" she bit back. "You're not sorry…"

"You know what?" His voice rose and she looked around. People were watching them. Normally she wouldn't mind the attention but this was just embarrassing. She tried to walk past Steven but he stepped in front of her and blocked the way. "You're right. I'm not sorry," he said in a quieter voice.

"Big surprise! I know you're not. You didn't care about hurting my feelings when we were together. Why would you care now?" She wished she didn't sound so bitter. She didn't want to be that hurt, angry girl anymore.

"Jackie. Jackie, look at me." There was a thread of anxiety in his voice. "I didn't want to hurt you. I just wanted to talk to you and I'm not sorry 'cause…I don't think you should get married."

Now she was really mad even though she felt a flicker of something in the area of her heart. Something she recognized as hope but she shoved it away and tried to keep her voice down. "Of course you don't think I should get married. You don't think anyone should get married. You don't believe in marriage or happiness or love or-or-anything except getting high and screwing slutty whores." She could hear her own voice getting screechy and she knew Steven hated that, which made her even madder. Why did she care what he thought? She took a deep breath and realized they were the center of attention and not in a good way. She blinked back the tears she could feel threatening and pushed past Steven.

"Jackie! Wait!"

God, he was following her. She sped up but he caught up to her quickly. She made a mad dash for the exit to the parking ramp, bumping into an older couple. Her soda slid from her hand but she didn't stop even though some of the cold liquid splashed onto her shoes. Her new, expensive shoes, damn it, but she kept going. Behind her she could hear Steven throw an apology at the couple she'd run into. She looked around frantically for her car and then remembered she'd parked in the last row. Why had she parked so far away? She heard a pounding noise and wondered if it was Stevens' running footsteps or her racing heart. Why was she running? She knew he would never physically hurt her. Somewhere between the exit and her car it hit her. She was running because he still had the ability to hurt her heart-which meant she still cared-and that scared the hell out of her.

"Oh my god, oh my god," she was panting when she reached her car and had to rummage frantically in her purse for her keys. He put his hands on the roof of the car, effectively trapping her between the car and himself. Her fingers found her keys and she tried to unlock the door.

"Damn it, Jackie. Will you just listen to me for a minute?" he growled in her ear and despite herself, a shiver of excitement ran down her spine. She took a deep breath and told herself to relax-_don't let him get to you. _If he knew she liked the feel of his chest pressing into her back and his breath on her cheek he would use it against her somehow.

"Are you okay, miss?"

They both looked over their shoulders at the security guard standing a few yards away. Jackie felt Hyde tense behind her. It would be so easy to say no. He would be dragged off and she could get away from him. Then again he might just take a swing at the guard and then he'd really be in trouble.

"Yes, I'm okay," she answered.

"Is this guy bothering you? Do you know him?" the guard asked and Jackie could hear the concern in his young voice.

"Yes, I know him…" she began but Steven cut her off.

"I'm her boyfriend, asshole. Now get lost." he snapped, hostility radiating off him. When the guard stepped closer and reached for his walkie talkie Steven turned around, fists clenched at his sides.

"What? You gonna call your fake cop buddies for backup? Go ahead, loser…"

"Steven!" Jackie grabbed his arm. "Stop it!" she hissed. She would have been thrilled with his saying he was her boyfriend in that possessive way when they were going out. She threw the guard an apologetic look. "We're fine. Just a little spat. I'm sorry if we bothered you."

"That's okay, miss." He nodded at her, gave Hyde a suspicious glare and walked backwards to the mall entrance. "Jerkwad," Hyde muttered and turned back to Jackie. She had unlocked the car and slid in to the driver's seat but he grabbed the door frame so she couldn't pull it closed.

"Steven!" she protested. "I have to go! I'm late for class."

"So just skip it," he grinned and she couldn't help but laugh. He sounded like the seventeen year old boy who used to convince her to cut class so they could make out under the bleachers. She shook her head, a smile crossing over her pretty face.

"Jackie, seriously, I want to talk to you." He leaned into the car.

"Since when?" she scoffed. "You used to say talking was for people who have something in common."

"That was because I had other plans for that gorgeous mouth of yours," he smirked.

"Steven!" she swatted at him but the twinkle in her eye told him she was wasn't offended . "Can I get in?" he asked so she shifted over to the passenger seat.

"So what did you want to talk about?"she asked.

He wished she hadn't moved. He liked her little body close to him, remembering when she used to snuggle against him in the camino, her hand on his thigh and her head on his shoulder.

"Steven?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking." He rubbed his neck nervously. This had seemed like a good idea when he saw her in the mall. She was looking out the passenger side window and her voice sounded far away when she said "About what?"

"About us," he said. That got her attention but not in the way he'd hoped. When they were dating she would have been over the moon if he wanted to talk about their relationship. Now she just frowned at him.

"It's a little late for that, don't you think? Two years and a stripper too late."

"About that," he turned in his seat to face her.

"You know what, Steven? I don't care about that anymore." She shook her head and he wondered if she was trying to convince herself or him.

"Damn it, Jackie. Just hear me out, okay? I should have said this a long time ago and I wanna say it now. Okay? Please?"

She shrugged and looked away again. " Fine. Whatever."

He cursed himself for ever teaching her how to be zen. She'd gotten too damn good at it. "The thing is-I'm really sorry about that whole Chicago/Sam mess." He paused when he saw her flinch. He reached over and took her hand. Her engagement ring scraped against his palm and he hesitated but only for a second. This was important and long overdue. "I overreacted when Kelso came into your hotel room in just a towel. I should have beat the crap out of him and then I should have listened to you."

Her eyes were downcast, long lashes dark on her cheeks. She nodded but didn't say anything. She wasn't going to make this easy for him apparently. He rubbed her knuckles with his thumb. "That whole business with Sam was a real cluster fuck. I was drunk and I don't even remember most of it but I know that was no excuse for letting her stay. I guess I was trying to get back at you…"

"Even though I didn't do anything wrong?" her voice was soft.

"Yeah, well, you know me. Act first, think later. I was mad and hurt. You left me…" he held up his hand when she would have spoken. "I figured I could get back at you if I let her stay then everything just snowballed and I didn't know how to get rid of her. By then it was pretty obvious you hated me and I just…" his voice died away and they sat in silence for awhile, ignoring the cars and shoppers coming and going around them. When he finally looked at her, her eyes were wet with tears but she didn't let them fall.

"I still loved you. I would have taken you back," she whispered.

He felt the pressure behind his eyes and looked down at their hands, still entwined between them on the car seat. "I-I didn't know. I thought I blew it for good. After Sam left I thought maybe-but it seemed like you had moved on. You and Fez…"

The laugh that came out of her sounded more like a gurgle. "Yeah, poor Fez. I guess I was afraid of being alone and he was so good to me."

"Cause he wanted to get in your pants." he scowled.

She tossed her hair and he had to smile. "Can you blame him?" She didn't wait for his answer. "You were so mean to me. You were always making fun of me."

He squeezed her hand. "I was pissed. I didn't want you to go out with him. I wasn't ready to get married for real so I didn't think you would want to get back together."

She pulled her hand away. "It was never about getting married."

A crack of laughter shot out of his throat. " Says the girl who used to try on wedding dresses for fun."

"Well, okay, I did want to get married. Someday. Not then! I just wanted to know you saw that for us someday," her voice shook a little.

"Christ, Jackie. I might have thought about it but…"

"You thought about it?" her amber eyes lit up.

He shrugged. What the hell, he had nothing to lose. "Yeah, sure."


	11. Chapter 11

Jackie sat back in her seat and folded her arms across her chest. Steven had just said he had thought about the two of them getting married. "Would it have killed you to tell me?"

He grinned that cocky half twist of his mouth that she loved so much. It was sexy as hell. "Yeah, it might have."

She glared at him then looked away. After a few minutes of silence she said, "Well, it doesn't matter anymore, does it?"

"What do you mean?"

She looked at him like he was an idiot and flashed her engagement ring in his face. Man, he'd like to take that two carat marquis cut rock and shove it down Jake Bradley's throat. A scowl crossed his face and purely out of spite he grabbed her hand and tried to pull the ring off her finger. She curled her hand into a fist.

"Steven! What are you doing? Let go!" she yelled, her voice loud in the confines of her car. When he wouldn't release her she swatted at him but her little hand made no impact. It was only when her long nails raked across his neck that he let go. Eyes wide in horror her hands flew to cover her mouth.

"Oh, Steven! I'm so sorry!" she gasped.

He rubbed the burning skin on his neck and his hand came back spotted with blood. "You know what…" he shook his head to stop the scathing comment about to leave his mouth. He was going to say Bradley was welcome to her but it would have been a lie and he was tired of lying to her. He was tired of pretending he didn't miss her when he was always thinking about her. Tired of pretending he didn't want her when he woke in the middle of the night hard for her. Tired of pretending he had never loved her when he still did. But most of all, he was tired of hurting her.

She reached out and gently touched his neck. She was crying and that was another thing he didn't want-her crying over him. He wasn't worth it-never had been. She should be with someone like Jake Bradley, who wouldn't ever hurt her because he couldn't control his insecurities and jealousies. He took her hand and kissed the back of it.

"It's just a scratch. I deserved it," he said.

"You kind of did," her smile was sad. "Steven, I…"

"Listen, it's okay. I just wanted to apologize for all the shit I put you thru and I wanted to wish you and Jake good luck," his voice was rough and he couldn't look in her in the eye. Not that it was a lie-he _was_ sorry and he did want her to be happy. Just not with someone else.

Her long hair brushed against his shoulder as she angled her head to look at him and he tried to ignore the urge to grab a handful of it. He remembered how she used to tease him by brushing its softness against his bare skin. Once when she was sweeping it across his bare stomach he couldn't help it and he wrapped a fistful of it around his cock, releasing into the silky, scented strands. She had pouted at him afterwards but when he had washed her hair and made love to her in the shower she told him how hot it was that her hair had gotten him off.

He didn't know he had closed his eyes until her hand rested on his thigh. She pulled it back quickly when his blue eyes met hers, a guilty look on her face. "Sorry…" she breathed.

"Don't be. I don't mind," and he leaned towards her, memories of making love with her fresh in his mind. Her hand on his chest stopped him.

"Steven, don't. Please," she pleaded. "I don't think I could say no to you."

"Then don't". His voice was low and raspy as he closed the distance between them. His lips slid across hers so softly that she sighed and her hand on his chest stilled. It was as if they had been apart too long and never been apart at the same time. White hot hunger shot thru him and he welcomed it, pulling her full bottom lip into his mouth and sucking on it until a moan rose in her and spilled into him. He felt it slide down his chest and into his groin. He pulled her against him. She felt so right in his arms. His tongue slid into warmth of her mouth and she wrapped her own around it, tugging gently, as her hands smoothed over his muscular chest.

God, she had missed this-his hard, lean body and the way he said her name as his mouth moved to her neck, sucking on the sensitive skin beneath her ear. It was his voice, deep and dark, so different from Jake's that jolted her out of the haze of desire he had pulled her into. She didn't wonder how he was able to do this to her. What she didn't understand was _why _he kept doing it to her. It couldn't just be about sex and if it was about something more then they were right back to where they were before-before Chicago, before Sam, before Jake. Back to her wanting more and him unable to give it. She couldn't go thru that again. It hurt too much and she'd come too far.

His lips were pressing hot kisses on her neck. His strong hands were around her waist, pulling her onto his lap. She felt his hardness pressing against her and fought the urge to move against it. With shaking hands she pushed against him.

"No, Steven. Stop! Please!" she cried and the anguish in her voice was like ice water on his heated skin.

Dazed blue eyes met hers and his grip on her waist loosened. She slid off his lap, her voice gaining strength. "This is wrong. This isn't me. I'm not a cheater."

"Come on, doll. You always liked it when it was wrong," he tried pulling her back but she scooted across the seat. "Besides, it isn't cheating if you're with the right person."

"Tell that to Jake," her voice shook and Hyde actually felt a little ashamed. Bradley was a good guy and he didn't deserve to be dogged like this but damn it, she should be with him.

Jackie was straightening her top, smoothing her hair as he watched her. If she could resist this crazy hot attraction between them he didn't know what else he could do. God knows he'd never been good with words. At least not the ones she wanted to hear. And as much as he wanted her he didn't know if he could give her the life she wanted-marriage, a house, kids. As she applied lip gloss in the rearview mirror with a trembling hand he made a decision-the first unselfish one he'd made in a long time. He dragged in a ragged breath.

"Jackie. You might not believe me but I want you to be happy."

He could see her pink mouth twist in a half smile before she looked down at her hands, clutched in her lap. The silence in the car now was flat and heavy, like his heart. He reached out and tilted her chin up so he could see her face. Her beautiful amber eyes were shining with tears and he didn't think he'd ever seen her look so sad. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You're doing it again," he said.

"Doing what?" she pressed her cheek against his hand.

"Breaking my heart," his voice was so low she almost didn't hear him.

"Oh, Steven, we both know you don't have a heart," she whispered, a wistful smile on her face.

He didn't trust himself to touch her again so with a wry nod he opened the car door. "See you around, doll."

"Bye, Steven." She swiped away the single tear that ran down her cheek. She shifted over to the drivers' seat as he got out and shut the door. She started the engine and pulled away without looking back. Man, he had fucked up again so as usual, he turned to the one thing that would dull the pain.

Laying in his bed hours later, his head spinning and his body numb he made another major decision. It was time to grow up. Where had his partying ever gotten him? Sure he'd had some good times but all he had to show for it was a fake marriage to a stranger and a hole in his heart where Jackie used to be. Yeah, it was time to man up. Forman had done it. He'd loosened his mother's apron strings and moved to Madison with Donna. Fez was going to cosmetology school and saving for his own salon. Even Kelso had committed to the mother of his child and was working two jobs in Chicago. He knew he had to get over Jackie somehow or he would have no future. Only recollections of a past where her crazy intense love for him was something he was too immature or to afraid of to believe in.

Tonight he had gotten totally shitfaced but it hadn't erased the memories or stopped the pain so tomorrow he was going to give sobriety a shot. What the hell, it was worth a try.


	12. Chapter 12

Hyde spent the next day going back and forth from his bed to the bathroom so his decision to sober up made perfect sense. If he kept this crap up he'd kill himself and while his life pretty much sucked he wasn't ready to give up on it. Not yet anyway.

He kept busy, spending most of his time at Grooves catching up on paperwork and restocking. He even painted his office one night after the store closed just to keep his thoughts from straying to a certain unavailable brunette. He was counting out the register on a Friday night when the phone rang. "Grooves," he mumbled, tucking the receiver under his chin.

"Steven! How are you, son?" His fathers' smooth voice came thru the line.

"Hey, W.B.. I'm good. How 'bout you?"

"Great, just great but I'm a little concerned, son."

"Yeah? Why's that?" Hyde shut the register drawer and stuffed the days' earnings into a bank bag.

"Well, I got the monthly earnings report a week early. Are you okay?"

Hyde chuckled. "Yeah, sorry about that. I can get it to you late next time, if you want."

"No, it's good. I was glad to get it. I just wanted to check in and see how things are going."

"Well, sales are up five percent and…" Hyde locked the register.

"That's great but it's you I'm asking about. We haven't seen you in a while, son."

Hyde rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. How's Angie?"

"She's great-has a new boyfriend. I actually like this one," W.B. chuckled.

"Yeah? That's cool. He can't be any worse than Kelso."

"Don't remind me. What about you, Steven? Are you seeing anyone?"

Hyde took the phone to the listening pit and stretched out on the sofa. "Nah, I'm taking a break from chicks. All the drama stresses me out, you know."

"I hear you, son. You know I always thought you and that pretty brunette would get back together. Jackie, right?"

"Uh, yeah." Hyde rubbed his eyes and clutched the receiver tighter. "Don't think that's gonna happen, man. She's getting married."

"Really? Well, I'm sorry, Steven. I know how much she meant to you," concern came across the line.

Hyde tried to laugh but it caught in his throat. W.B. waited while he recovered. Man, he was lucky to have such a cool dad. He cleared his throat. "It's okay, you know. She deserves better than me."

"I may be biased but I don't think she could do any better than you and, for what it's worth, that girl was crazy about you. She lit up like the fourth of July around you." W.B.'s smile warmed his voice.

Hyde closed his eyes and forced himself to breath in and out. He didn't know what to say so he didn't say anything. W.B.'s deep voice was kind when he spoke. "Listen, Steven, why don't you come out to the house on Sunday? We'll have a nice dinner and you can let me know what you think of your sisters' boyfriend."

"Yeah, sure. Sounds like a plan," he agreed and after a few more minutes of conversation they said goodbye. After hanging up Hyde shut all but one of overhead lights off and returned to the sofa. He lit up a joint-the first he'd had in almost two weeks. He had been doing alright but the thoughts of Jackie he'd pushed to the back of his mind came rushing forward and the only way he could-or rather, wanted to deal with it was thru a thick haze of memory obliterating smoke.

Closing his eyes he let the tension drain away as he listened to "The Wall" by Pink Floyd thru the new Koss speakers he'd installed last week. Man, he could totally relate to Roger Waters vocals.

_Hello-hello-hello Is there anybody out there?_

_I have become comfortably numb _

This was the best he'd felt since the last time he got high. Whoever said this stuff wasn't addictive was a damn liar. He had tried going cold turkey but it was a struggle. He used to think that as long as something made you feel this good there was no harm in it but he never liked being dependent on anything or anyone. It hadn't escaped his notice that his need for the stuff was strongest whenever he thought of Jackie. It was like Pavlov's dog-think of Jackie, crave weed-and he'd thought of her several times today. Once when he was getting dressed this morning and found a pair of her panties in his dresser drawer-underneath his stash of Rolling Stones t-shirts. They were pink with a purple "J" embroidered on the front. He brought them to his nose and breathed in her scent, remembering the day he had taken them off her and refused to give them back. She had called his bluff and flounced out of his room, flicking her skirt so he caught a glimpse of her perfect bare ass. That had been a good day.

He thought of her again driving into work today when some crappy ABBA song came on the radio. She'd had the worst taste in music and he used to tell her so all the time. She would just stick her tongue out at him and turn the stereo or radio up even louder. It brought to mind one winter night when they were alone watching tv together and the musical guest on Carson was some disco group called Exile. Jackie jumped up and started dancing and while he enjoyed her moves he hated the song. He reached for the control but she swatted his hand away. "Come on, Jackie. Let me change the channel. This song sucks."

"No, it doesn't," she grabbed his hands and tried to pull him to his feet. "Dance with me, Steven."

"No way," he pulled her towards him and she fell against his chest, giggling.

"Just listen to the words then," she said, wriggling against him to the beat, which was really distracting but he caught something about "I wanna kiss you all over-and over again". She was straddling his lap now and kissing his neck. Okay, so the music sucked but the lyrics weren't bad and if it made her horny he could get into it. He wrapped his arms around her as the song played on.

_So show me, show me everything you do_

'_cause baby no one does it quite like you_

_I wanna kiss you all over and over again_

'_till the night closes in, 'till the night closes in_

Then tonight W.B. had mentioned her and here he was again, trying to push her out of his mind and failing miserably. His head fell back against the cushion and he closed his eyes. Damn, why was this so hard? Why couldn't he forget her?

Pink Floyd was done playing and someone was banging on the door. He must have drifted off. Rubbing his eyes Hyde ambled to the door to see Kelso's face pressed against the glass. The big doof stuck his tongue out and licked the glass, smearing it with spit . Despite himself, Hyde laughed. Kelso was an idiot but he could use the company. He unlocked the door and Kelso barged in, pushing Hyde aside as he leapt over the couch. He plunked a six pack down on the coffee table.

"Hey, man. How are you?" a wide grin split the handsome face.

"It's good to see you, Kelso. What are you doing in town?" Hyde locked the door.

"It's my folks anniversary. My brothers and I took them out for dinner." He tossed a beer in Hyde's direction. Catching it, Hyde popped it open and sat down. He'd already gotten high today, he may as well get drunk too. He'd get back on the wagon tomorrow.

"So, what's going on? Whatcha' been up to, man?" Kelso swallowed half of his beer in one noisy gulp.

Hyde rolled his neck to get the kinks out. "Not much, man. Working a lot. Gotta pay the bills, you know."

Kelso guffawed. "Yeah, like you have any bills living with the Forman's."

Hyde frowned. "I'm not a freeloader. I pay rent, you know."

"Sorry. Don't be mad. I was just kidding," Kelso grinned. "So, you partying? Getting any?"

"Don't you think about anything besides partyin' and chicks? How's Brooke? How's Betsy? Geez, Kelso." Hyde smacked his friends arm.

"They're great. You haven't seen Betsy in awhile, have you? She's so cute. She takes after me-and Brooke. She's the best," he grinned, his brown eyes bright.

"Good for you, man." Hyde lifted his beer in salute.

"Yeah, everything's going pretty good but I miss hanging out with you guys. I'm trying to get back on the Point Place P.D."

Eyebrows raised, Hyde asked, "Do you think they'll take you back? You did burn down the auditorium at the academy, you know."

"Yeah-but," Kelso grinned. "I don't know if you know this or not but I can be pretty charming when I want to be. Sgt. Kennedy always liked me."

Hyde laughed. "Yeah, right! He yelled at you constantly and he called you an idiot more times than Red threatened to kick your ass." He choked a little on his beer and Kelso thumped him on the back. A little harder than was necessary but that's what they did. A hurt expression crossed Kelso's face. "Yeah, sure, but he did it out of love. He wanted me to be the best cop I could be. And Red –well, I'm like a son to Red."

"Sure, kettlehead," Hyde got up to put on a new record. "We all know how he treats Eric."

They shared a laugh and each popped open another beer, relaxing against the worn sofa as they listened to Zeppelin for several minutes in silence. Kelso stretched out his long legs and asked, "Say, Jackie's wedding is only a few weeks away. Are you going?"

Hyde peered at his old rival thru half closed eyes but didn't respond. Kelso sipped his beer. "You got invited, didn't you?"

Again, no answer and Kelso's eyes widened. "Oh, wait! She didn't invite you, did she? Oh, man, that's a good burn."

"I got an invitation, moron. I'm just not going. Why would I?"

"Why not? It's free beer!"

Hyde shook his head. "Free beer or not, marriage is a farce. Ten to one they'll be divorced in a year."

"I don't know, man. Jackie's always wanted to be married. Remember how she used to pressure us? Besides, Jake is loaded and you know she likes that!" Kelso laughed. Hyde took a closer look at his friend. Did he really think Jackie was still the materialistic princess she'd been in high school? Yeah, she'd been a spoiled brat back when they all first met her but she'd changed a lot since then. Sure, she enjoyed the finer things in life but Hyde liked to think he had taught her there was more to life than material possessions.

"At least you and I dodged that bullet! Just think. It could be one of us marrying her. Can you imagine being leg shackled to Jackie for life?" Kelso said. Hyde watched the emotions pass across his expressive face and when Kelso spoke again his voice was quieter and serious. "Of course, I like being on a short leash. Keeps me in line, you know. And Jackie always knew how to make me feel special even though she could be a real bossy boss sometimes. Still, I don't have to tell you she was something else in the sack." He caught the glare Hyde leveled at him and swallowed. "So, anyway, I guess it wouldn't be so bad to be married to Jackie." He looked like a puppy that had just been kicked. It was pretty obvious he had fond memories of the first girl he had ever loved. Hyde reached over and patted him on the back.

"Just think though, man. If you'd married Jackie you wouldn't have Betsy."

Kelso laughed. "Aw, come on, Hyde. You know me! I still would have messed around with Brooke!"

Hyde's hand morphed into a fist and he punched Kelso in the shoulder-hard.

"Ow, man! That hurt!" Kelso grabbed his arm then he laughed. "I guess I deserved that. What can I say? I'm a horn dog."

"You got that right," Hyde chuckled. "I just hope that pea brain of yours knows how good Brooke and Betsy are for you."

"I do and I'm really trying to behave. If Brooke sees that I can be a good dad and that I really love her and Betsy maybe she'll stay with me." His voice was earnest and the brown eyes were honest.

Hyde nodded. "I'm glad you're straightening up, Kelso. If she makes you happy you gotta show her."

He got up to grab his coat. It was getting late and all this yammering about girls and love was bringing him down. Kelso slammed his last beer then stood up, stretching his long arms over his head. He had noticed the downward turn of his friends mouth and recognized the tension in his shoulders. He and Hyde had always been competitive. Sometimes they had even hated each other . Even though he didn't always get where Hyde was coming from, he cared about him. They were buds, had been for more than half their lives, and he hated to see him unhappy.

As they moved towards the door Kelso spoke. "Maybe if Jackie get's divorced you could hook up again. Wait! You could steal her away from Bradley like you stole her from me!"

Hyde turned on him. "I never stole her from you, you moron!"

Kelso's cocky grin stopped Hyde short and rolling his eyes, he opened the door and shoved him out. He shut off the last light and followed his friend out into the deserted streets of Point Place.


	13. Chapter 13

Jackie drove her beat up Ford into the driveway of her parents' home. She parked under the shade of an old oak tree and stared at the _For Sale_ sign stuck in the once lush grass of the large front lawn. Her mother couldn't afford the mortgage let alone the upkeep so she had put the house on the market as soon as she got back from her last trip to Mexico. Jackie didn't really miss the mansion anymore but it made her sad to think that her family would no longer live together under one roof again. Her dad was due to be released from prison in six months but she hadn't talked to him in quite awhile. She had no idea what he planned to do when he got out. His reputation was ruined, his wife had divorced him and another man was going to walk his daughter down the aisle on her wedding day.

The front door opened and Pam stepped out onto the porch, a drink in her hand. When she realized it was her daughter getting out of the rusted old car she smiled and waved before ducking back inside. Jackie hurried up the driveway, pulling her hair off her damp neck. It was humid today and the Ford didn't have air conditioning. Even though she knew her mother couldn't afford the utility bill Jackie was glad the house was cool when she stepped into the marble foyer.

"I'm in here, darling." Pam's voice trilled from the kitchen at the back of the house. "Can I get you something, sweetie?" she asked as she mixed herself another drink.

Jackie kissed her mothers' tan cheek and set her purse down on the granite countertop. "No thanks, Mom. I'm fine. I just wanted to make sure you remembered we're going out to dinner with Jake's parents tonight."

"Of course! Honey, I'm so glad you aren't marrying that Kelso boy. He was cute but you just know he was dropped on his head when he was a baby!"

Jackie rolled her eyes and pulled a stool out to sit at the huge island in the center of the room. She frowned when the sheer size of it reminded her that she and Steven had made love once on its cool, smooth surface. As always, Stevens' voice came along with the memory.

_Come on, Jackie. No one's home and cripes, it's freakin' huge. There's plenty of room. Just think, the next time your parents' mix their martini's here it will be where I screwed their daughter._ _Come on, doll. You know you want to._

He knew she liked being naughty so she had let him lift her up on to the counter. She could still remember the cold granite against her back and Stevens warm lips on hers. She didn't realize she was running her hand along the counter until Pam snapped her fingers.

"Are you okay, sweetie? You seem a little distracted."

"Just a lot on my mind, Mom. Jake and I will pick you up at six thirty. You know the Bradley's, don't you? Wasn't Daddy their lawyer before he…" Jackie hesitated and Pam stirred her drink furiously.

"Before he relocated to Europe to work with the Ambassador to France?"

"Is that the story we're going with now?" Jackie frowned.

Pam reached over and patted her daughter's cheek. "Don't scowl, honey. You'll get wrinkles."

Jackie automatically smoothed her features and assumed the delicate smile her mother had taught her years ago.

"That's better," Pam smiled back. "I sort of remember the Bradley's but why do you ask?"

"Mom! I'm marrying their son! My fiancé is Jake _Bradley_. Don't you ever read my letters?"

Sipping her drink Pam leaned against the island. "Not really, honey. I'd rather talk to you on the phone. Why don't you ever call me?"

"Because I never know where you are!" Jackie protested but seeing the reproving look on her mothers' beautiful face, she sighed.

"Whatever happened to that curly headed boy? The one who lived with the Forman's? He was sexy in a scruffy, wrong side of the tracks kind of way." A predatory look crossed Pam's face and Jackie wanted to smack it off. For a second she was horrified with herself. Her mother was soft and sweet but her selfishness frustrated Jackie to no end. She looked down to see that her nails had left little crescents in her palms from clutching her fists. _And people wondered where __her self- centered nature came from! _But_ s_he would never ignore her own children like her parents did.

"His name is Steven Hyde. Don't you remember anything about my life, Mom? Do you even know that I'm going to school?"

"Of course! For design, right? Oh, maybe you could make a dress for me to wear to the wedding!"

Jackie rolled her eyes. "I'm going for interior design, Mom. Not fashion design."

"Oh, that's right! Just as well. I would never wear a homemade dress anyway!" Pam waved her hand but the laugh on her lips faded away as she took in the sparsely furnished living area beyond the empty dining room. She'd had to sell several beloved antiques and pieces of furniture to keep up the mortgage payments. Tears filled her eyes and Jackie hurried around the island.

"Its' okay, Mom. Don't worry. We'll sell the house soon and you can get a smaller place. Somewhere close to me and Jake." She hugged the softly sobbing woman. She'd never been able to master the elegant way her mother cried.

Drying her eyes carefully a few minutes later Pam gave her daughter a fragile smile. "I know, sweetie. You're right. Who wouldn't want to buy this beautiful house? But I don't think I can stay here in Point Place."

"What? Why not?" Jackie stepped back. She knew what was coming but she had hoped that maybe this time it would be different.

"Oh, you know me! I like to be where it's warm and sunny all year. Wisconsin winters just aren't my thing. And besides," she refilled her glass. "There just aren't any eligible men around here."

"By eligible you mean rich." Jackie's lips set in a grim line.

"Now, Jackie, don't judge me. I'm used to being taken care of and excuse me, but aren't the Bradley's quite well off themselves?"

Jackie's anger quickly faded. Jake's family was rich but that wasn't why she was marrying him. A sarcastic voice that sounded eerily like Steven's said inside her head _Are you sure about that? _She hesitated before answering her mother. "Well, yes but I love Jake because he's handsome and sweet…"

Pam's silver bell laugh echoed in the nearly empty room. "Oh sweetie! You don't have to explain yourself to me. It's just as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor one. I'm glad my little girl has done so well for herself!' She kissed Jackie's cheek and with a bright smile, she left the room. Jackie could hear the ice in her glass tinkling as she crossed the marble floor .

Jackie sat down on the bar stool, feeling a little dazed. Was she just like her mother? Was she marrying Jake for the financial security he could give her? Grabbing her purse she rummaged thru it and when she didn't find what she was looking for she pulled her wallet out and opened it. Tucked into one of the pockets were several photos and she spread them out on the counter. They were class photos of her friends-Michael, Fez, Donna, even Eric. She kept looking but she had no photo of Jake. Had she never asked him for one? Tucked in another pocket she found a picture of her and Steven, arms wrapped around each other on the Forman's sofa. She was smiling radiantly and Steven-her heart missed a beat-he actually looked happy. He had that sly, adorable smirk on his lips and his blue eyes-god, she loved his eyes. She sat frozen for several minutes, staring at the photo until she scooped them all up and shoved them carelessly in her purse. She should throw that one of her and Steven away but she knew she never would. She tried to bring Jake's face to mind but without any physical proof of his presence in her life-other than the diamond on her left hand-all she could think of was Steven. The enormity of it was enough to propel her towards the front door.

She needed to see Jake. She needed to confirm all of her reasons for marrying him. She fished her keys out of her purse and slid into the hot interior of her car. The vinyl seat stuck to the back of her legs. Heedless of messing her hair she rolled the windows down and drove as fast as she dared to Jake's apartment. She felt a rush of relief when she saw his red camaro parked in front of the building. She forced herself to take several deep breaths and smoothed her hair down. It would be okay. She would see his face and all the love she felt for him would push Steven out of her heart and fill it with only Jake. It had to or else she didn't know what she would do.


	14. Chapter 14

Jake walked in from the bedroom when he heard the front door open. Jackie put her purse down on the coffee table, not noticing that it tipped over and half the contents spilled onto the floor. Her cheeks were pink and her hair windblown.

"Hey gorgeous," he smiled, tucking his white dress shirt into gray slacks. "Are you running late? We need to meet my folks at the restaurant in an hour."

She ran a hand thru her hair. "I guess I am a little late. It's no problem. When you're working with a face like this it doesn't take long to reach perfection." She threw him a flirty glance but Jake just smiled and turned back to the bedroom. Steven would have responded with a snarky comment or a raised eyebrow. "Jake, wait!" she called after him and he turned back around, waiting patiently. Steven never waited patiently. Then again, neither did she.

"What is it, Jackie?" Jake's voice broke in on her wandering thoughts.

"What? Oh, nothing." She felt a rush of guilt and crossed the room to hug him. "You are so good to me. I don't deserve you."

He looked down at her, squeezing her gently. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, it's just that my mother said something that-oh, never mind. She can be difficult, you know?"

Jake smiled. "I'm sure everything will be fine. Don't worry. If she's anything like you she'll charm the pants off my parents."

A laugh caught in her throat. He had no idea! Steven was wise to Pam's wiles but Jake wouldn't know what hit him. He'd find out just how charming her mother could be but would he see the cunning behind it? "I'd better get ready," she stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek and hurried into the bathroom.

Noticing the contents of her purse on the floor Jake bent over to pick it up, shaking his head. Jackie had been a little scatter brained lately. A little distant too but he wasn't worried. Just pre-wedding jitters, he told himself. He scooped up the photos that had fallen out and found himself staring at one of his fiancée and her old boyfriend. He didn't like to snoop but curiosity got the better of him and he looked at the photo closer. He could tell it was a few years old because Jackie was wearing her cheer uniform and they both looked younger, their arms wrapped around each other. He had never seen Hyde look that relaxed or happy. Something about the look on Jackie's face bothered him and even after he shoved the photo back in her purse he couldn't stop thinking about it. She had never looked at him with such utter adoration. He was still standing in the living room when she came out of the bedroom, struggling with the zipper on her dress. She turned her back to him. "Could you zip me up, please?"

Her skin was soft and warm against his fingers as he slid the zipper up. He bent down and kissed her neck where she held back her thick dark hair.

"I love you, Jackie." He said into her ear.

She threw him a flirtatious smile over her shoulder as she stepped away. "How do I look?" She tugged the dress into place and wiggled her hips.

"Jackie, I said I love you." He frowned, something he seldom did. Her glance darted away for a second then came back to him with a little smile. "You are so sweet," she said and wrapped her arms around him. She kissed him long and deeply. It wasn't until later that he realized she hadn't said she loved him too.

Hyde had just finished eating and started gathering the empty dishes. Mrs. Forman had insisted he eat with her and Mr. Forman and although he didn't have much appetite lately he appreciated that she made his favorite lasagna.

"You don't have to do that, honey. Red will clear the table." She smiled at him but he noticed her hands were clenched in her lap. A sure sign she was upset about something.

"I will?" Red's balding head shot up and seeing the frown on his wife's face he said in a warning tone. "Don't do it, Kitty. The boys' old enough to manage his own life, even if he does the occasional dumbass thing." The grin he gave Hyde was malicious. "Like marry a stripper."

Hyde just nodded and headed for the stairs. What could he say? The old man was right. Mrs. Forman called after him and he turned around. He didn't feel like talking but he never could say no to her. She was the mother he'd never had and the fact that she was worried about him said a lot.

"Let's go in the living room, honey. We can talk in there while Mr. Forman does the dishes," and she gave her husband a glare when he grumbled. She pulled Hyde down on the couch next to her and directed her kind blue gaze on him. "Now Steven, is there anything you would like to talk about?"

"Not really, Mrs. Forman." He shrugged. She tilted her head and took one of his hands in her own small one. "Are you sure? 'Cause I kind of think you do." Her voice wasn't sing songy like it had been back on that Veterans' day when he denied he liked Jackie but it reminded him of how stupid he had been to deny his feelings for her. He was about to do it again when he saw the sympathy on his foster mothers' face. He heaved a big sigh and fell back against the sofa cushions, closing his eyes. Mrs. Forman rubbed his arm. "It's okay to have regrets, Steven. We all wish there was something we had done differently in our lives."

He opened his eyes. "Yeah but how do you live with it?"

"As cliche as it sounds, time really does heal all wounds." Her smile was sad. "You'll meet someone else someday. Someone you'll love…"

He stood up and started pacing in front of the sofa. "See, that's the thing, Mrs. Forman. I won't. I don't want to. Jackie is the only girl I ever-that I want to-argh!" He pulled at his hair and sat back down. His fists were clenched and she felt so bad for this boy-this man-who had lost so much in his life already. It didn't matter that the blame was mostly his this time. It was still hard to see him in pain. When he raised his head she had to swallow the gasp that rose in her throat. She hadn't seen him look this devastated since his mother left him all those years ago.

"Oh, Steven. I'm so sorry," she pulled him into her arms.

"If I had just told her I loved her," he mumbled into her neck. She was patting his back when Red stuck in his head in and she waved him away. Steven would be embarrassed if anyone else saw him so upset. She wasn't exactly sure what zen was but she knew it wasn't this outpouring of grief her second son was experiencing.

He pulled away from her after a few minutes and cleared his throat. He stood up and she saw him wipe at his face when he turned his back to her. "Sorry about that, Mrs. Forman. You're right. I'll be okay."

She patted her lap like she did whenever she had an idea. "Oh, I know! You could swoop in and kidnap Jackie at the wedding. Just like in that movie "The Graduate"." She laughed. "Now if there was ever a girl who would appreciate such a grand gesture it would be Jackie!"

Steven stopped his pacing and stared at her. She was right. He remembered when all she had wanted from him was a sign-a gesture that he cared –when her Dad went to jail. So he had shaved his beard off and she'd been so happy. It had always been easier to _show_ her he loved her. "Thanks, Mrs. F." he said and kissed her cheek. Kitty could have sworn she saw a light bulb go off over his head and she popped up from the sofa as is she was on springs. She tried to grab his arm but he was already across the room and reaching for the door.

"No, wait! Steven! I didn't mean it! I was just kidding!" She ran after him but by the time she got to the door he was starting up his car. "Steven! Don't you dare kidnap Jackie!" she yelled as the caminos tail lights faded down the street. She spun around when she heard Red come in from the kitchen, a dish towel slung over his shoulder. "Oh, Red! I think I just made things worse!" she wailed. He opened his mouth but then snapped it shut before he went back to doing the dishes but she could have sworn she heard him mutter "dumb ass."


	15. Chapter 15

The day before her wedding and the rain was coming down in sheets. Rolling thunder had woken her before daylight and set her nerves on edge. Unable to fall back asleep Jackie slipped out of bed and quietly dressed in the bathroom, not wanting to disturb Jake. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and didn't bother with makeup. She slipped on her tennies, grabbed her purse and left the apartment that would be hers and Jake's after tomorrow.

She had made arrangements with her teachers so that she had no classes today or next week. Tonight was the wedding rehearsal and dinner. Tomorrow was the wedding and by Monday she and Jake would be sipping margaritas on the beach in Aruba, courtesy of his parents. Somehow Pam had talked them into paying for the honeymoon. It wouldn't have bothered her a few years ago but now Jackie was just embarrassed that her parents hadn't contributed much towards the wedding. Her grandmother in New York had sent a check for her dress and she had paid for the flowers herself but everything else was being taken care of by the Bradleys.

Maybe it was the stress of the wedding or the fact that she and Jake had their first real fight last night but she was feeling really down. The weather didn't help any as she splashed thru puddles on the way to her car. She should be bouncing off the walls with excitement. She was getting married tomorrow! Ever since she was a little girl she had dreamt of her wedding day. So why did she have this hollow feeling in her gut? Why did her heart feel like a rock in her chest? She drove aimlessly around town for awhile, wipers squeaking against the windshield of her old car. Jake had told her she was welcome to drive his camaro anytime and his parents had hinted at a new car for her after the wedding but she really didn't want it. Her beat up '68 Ford Galaxy was anything but pretty but it was one of the few things she had bought on her own. She was kind of proud of it and in no hurry to get rid of it. Not yet anyway.

Out of habit and wanting to talk to someone she pulled into the Formans' driveway. It was still dark out but a light from the kitchen window spilled onto the rain glazed concrete. Apparently she wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. She didn't see Stevens car anywhere so she put her car in park and shut the headlights off, wondering why she always found herself back here. The rain blurred the worn edges of the house and she felt a calmness wash over her. She had felt more at home here and more loved here than she had in her parents big expensive mansion on the other side of town. The Forman's were the parents she wished she'd had. They weren't rich or beautiful like her parents but they loved her like one of their own and they had always been there for her.

Red might grumble and complain but he always lent a hand or gave advice if she needed it and Kitty was always there with a kind word or a gentle hug. She sure could use them now so holding her purse over her head she dashed thru the rain to the sliding glass door. It was locked so she rapped on it lightly. Mrs. Forman looked up from the table where she sat with her hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. Patting the pink curlers in her hair she padded to the door in her slippers and slid it open.

"Jackie honey, what are you doing up so early?"

Jackie slipped off her wet shoes and then wrapped her arms around a startled Kitty. "What's wrong, Honey? Are you okay? Come in-it's raining cats and dogs out there!" she patted the young girls back then led her to the table. Jackie sat down while Mrs. Forman fussed over her. This was nice, this was what she needed-the warmth of a real mother. Not someone who treated you more like a girlfriend or a rival. Not someone who's idea of parenting was to call you drunk from Cabo in the middle of the night to wish you a happy fifteenth birthday when it was really your eighteenth birthday. _"I don't want people to think I'm old enough to have a daughter who's eighteen. I know your birthday was last week. I'm sorry, Jackie darling, but I'll bring you a nice present when I come home. When? Oh, soon, sweetie. I have to go. Carlos is waiting for me at the bar. 'Bye, darling."_

Mrs. Forman placed a cup of coffee in her hands and set a plate of muffins on the table. She smiled and waited while Mrs. Forman added sugar and skim milk to her coffee, just the way she liked it. No one was as thoughtful as Mrs. Forman-even at 5:00 in the morning. "Why are you up so early, Mrs. Forman? Are you waiting for Laurie to come home from the bar?"

Kitty snorted and Jackie laughed with her. Laurie had come home a few days ago and it was no secret her mother wasn't thrilled. No one knew where she had been but she hadn't changed much. She was as petulant and conniving as ever. Kitty had actually been waiting for Steven to come home. He hadn't returned last night and she'd been afraid he had actually taken her suggestion to kidnap Jackie seriously but her she was so everything must be alright.

"You know, Jackie," Mrs. Forman sipped her coffee. "I love my daughter but she has been a trial to me since the day she was born. Her father adores her, of course. She can do no wrong as far as he's concerned. She and I have just never bonded like a mother and daughter should, you know?"

Jackie nodded. "I know exactly what you mean. I love my mom. She's beautiful and everything but she isn't like a real mom." She looked into the warm blue eyes. "Laurie doesn't know how lucky she is, Mrs. Forman. Steven always said the day he came to live here was the best day of his life."

Kitty's hands pressed against her heart and a smile wavered on her lips. "Oh, that is just the sweetest thing."

The two women sat in silence for a few minutes as Kitty blinked back her tears and Jackie remembered the rare occasions when Steven would talk about his parents-the awful ones who gave birth to him and the generous ones who adopted him. Kitty saw the sadness settle on the pretty face and she thought that no girl about to get married should look that way. She didn't question if she should ask what was going on. She was a nurturer and if she could help in any way, she would. She took one of Jackie's small hands in hers and gently squeezed. "Sweetie, is everything okay?"

"Nerves, I guess." Jackie shrugged but she knew Mrs. Forman wasn't buying it. "Oh, alright! Jake and I had a terrible fight last night."

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

Jackie nodded. "I thought maybe I could talk to Donna but this will be better. She just rolls her eyes at me and tells me I'm overreacting." Her redheaded friend often told her she was overdramatizing things but it never seemed like it to her. She felt things deeply and with her whole heart. She always had and while she used to think her passion for life was one of her best traits she wasn't so sure any more. She stared into her coffee cup. "I don't want to blame Jake. I've been kind of bitchy lately. Well, bitchier I guess. Planning a wedding is stressful, you know?"

Kitty nodded. She had been helping Jackie a lot-meeting with the caterer, altering the girls' dresses, keeping Pam from flirting with Jake's father.

"This is kind of embarrassing," Jackie frowned. "You and Mr. Forman have been married forever and I'm sure there have been times when you didn't want to…you know."

Kitty's brow crinkled so Jackie pushed on, lowering her voice. "You know, do the deed." The curlers in Mrs. Forman's hair dangled when she shook her head again, confused. Jackie rolled her eyes. "Okay, how can I say this in old people terms? Fool around?"

"Oh. Oh!" Kitty's voice rose and Jackie shushed her. "You and Jake had a fight because he wanted to fool around and you didn't? Oh, honey, that's no big deal. He'll get over it." She laughed loudly and Jackie cringed. Her cheeks turned pink but she didn't look away. "No. I wanted to and _he_ didn't."

Mrs. Forman's laughter died away and when she spoke her voice was a shocked whisper. " A man who didn't want to fool around? I've never heard of such a thing!"


	16. Chapter 16

Kitty tried to smooth her expression and think of something to say to calm the young girl sitting across from her at the table. "Well, there was that time after Red had his heart attack but he got over that quick enough." Kitty laughed. "Now the man won't leave me alone!"

" Excuse me, this is _my relationship_ we are talking about." Jackie frowned.

"Sorry, honey. Are you sure Jake didn't want to have relations? Because sometimes they want to but…"

"Oh, I'm sure! I was wearing this really sexy teddy and he wouldn't even look at me! He said he was tired. Can you believe it?" Jackie leaned forward.

Kitty was outraged for her young friend. "Tired? He said he was tired?"

" Yes! I mean, come on! I'm Jackie Burkhardt. Who would turn this down?" and she gestured to herself.

"He had the _nerve_ to say he's tired? He should try planning a wedding. All he's had to do is get fitted for his tux. That's all!" Kitty's hands were waving in the air and her voice was rising. Jackie thought Mrs. Forman might be thinking about Mr. Forman, not Jake, but she would take any sympathy she could get. "I know, right?"

The rain had stopped and weak sunlight was filtering thru the patio door. The rest of the house would start stirring and Steven would probably be stumbling home soon. She sure as hell didn't want him to hear how her fiancé had turned her down. How humiliating would that be!

Kitty took a breath and wondered why Jackie didn't look nearly as upset as she felt for her. "Sweetie, did it turn out okay? Did you two, you know, do the deed?" she giggled a little.

"No, we didn't but that's okay. Sex with Jake is alright," she shrugged.

"Oh. Just alright?" Kitty eyes widened.

Jackie waved her hand. "It's no big deal. I mean it's just sex, right? There's more to marriage than sex, right?" She got up to freshen her cup and tilted the pot towards Kitty, who shook her head. "I'm good, thank you. But Jackie dear, sexual relations in a marriage are important. Mr. Forman and I still like…" Jackie made a face so she went another route. "You two are so young. You should be enjoying it. "

"Oh, we enjoy it. I guess. But after the initial shock of Jake turning me down I realized that's not what I was mad about." She sat down and absently reached for a muffin. Kitty watched her peel the paper wrapper off it. "So what are you mad about then?"

" Well, I've been busy and not paying much attention to him so I thought if we did it-God, I sound like Fez! I thought it would show him that I'm sorry and that I love him."

Kitty frowned. "Couldn't you have just told him that? Sex isn't the only way to prove to someone that you love them."

"It was with Michael." Jackie frowned.

"Was it that way with Steven?" Kitty asked quietly.

"No but," Jackie's amber eyes grew round. "Oh my god! That's exactly what Jake asked me." she half-whispered.

"He did? Why would he ask you about Steven? What's going on?"

"I'm not sure. He asked me if I ever see Steven and I said sometimes. It's kind of hard to avoid him, you know." She felt bad about not telling Jake about the encounters she'd had with her ex but there just didn't seem to be a way to do it without having to answer a lot of awkward questions.

"I suppose it is. So you got mad because Jake was asking about Steven?"

"Yes! I mean, why is he asking about him now? We're getting married tomorrow. He asked if there was more to Steven and me than just a physical attraction or a high school romance."

"What did you tell him, sweetie?" Kitty's voice was hushed now. She had a bad feeling. Jackie was never known to be circumspect.

"I said of course there was! If that stupid Sam hadn't shown up we'd still be together."

Kitty popped up from her chair. Jackie went pale and reached for the older woman's hand. "Oh my god, Mrs. Forman! I told my fiancé that my old boyfriend was the love of my life!"

"What? You told him _what_? Did you really say that?" Kitty practically screeched.

" Yes but I was just so mad! He kept asking about Steven and then he didn't want to have sex and-oh! He didn't want to have sex because of what I said about Steven."

"That would explain it," Kitty nodded, smoothing her robe with nervous hands. Neither one of them spoke for several minutes until finally Jackie raised tear filled eyes. "Mrs. Forman, what should I do?'

"Okay, let's think about this," Kitty said in her best soothing voice. Again silence filled the kitchen.

"I can't think of anything that won't make it worse," Jackie finally said. Her heart was beating fast. What if Jake decided he didn't want to marry her?

Kitty wished it wasn't socially unacceptable to drink at six in the morning. She shouldn't have listened to Eric when he said not to mess with Steven and Jackie's busted romance. What did he know? He had broken up and gotten back together with Donna more times than she could count. She took a calming breath and quietly spoke to the distressed bride to be."Jackie, honey, is there something going on with you and Steven? Do you still have feelings for each other? If you do, this would be the time to say so."

"You mean before I marry another man?" Jackie ran a shaking hand thru her hair but it was several minutes before she continued. "I can't speak for him …" she laughed a little because she always used to tell Steven that as his girlfriend it was her right to speak for him. When they first started going out he would grumble and complain but later, he would just shake his head and give her that exasperated half-smile."But I'll always have feelings for Steven. He was everything to me and I wish things had worked out for us." She shrugged. "But they didn't and I know that marrying Jake is the best thing for me." She was proud that her voice was strong even if a single tear ran down her cheek. She wiped it away viciously.

"Well then, when you see Jake don't mention your fight or act like it even happened. Most men will avoid an argument at all costs and something tells me Jake is one of those men."

Jackie nodded. Mrs. Forman was right. Jake didn't like to argue. If he had any flaw it would be that he was just too easygoing-too complacent. Sometimes she just wished he would get angry, show that there was something he could get passionate about. Like she did. Like Steven did when they were together. They'd had some fantastic fights and the best part was the making up. "Do you thinks that's a good idea? I don't want to start our marriage with this between us."

"By _this_ do you mean Steven?"

Jackie nodded, eyes downcast. Kitty's heart was breaking for the poor girl. "I can give you all the advice in the world but in the end you have to go with your heart. You do what is best for you, honey, because if you aren't happy Jake won't be either."

Jackie wrapped her arms around the older woman and cried quietly against her shoulder.

An hour later when Jackie entered Jake's apartment he stood up from the sofa, his hair sticking up and dark circles under his eyes. They stared at each other across the room, both unsure of what to say or do. He didn't want to lose her and she didn't know if she could take it if someone else left her. When he held open his arms she flew into them and they held each other tight, neither one saying anything. When she raised her head to speak he kissed her softly.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

" It's okay. I shouldn't have asked you about Hyde. That's in the past, right?"

She nodded and lay her cheek against his chest. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. "Why don't we try to get some sleep while we can? This weekend is going to be crazy, huh?"

She nodded and let him lead her into the bedroom. He fell asleep holding her in his arms but she couldn't stop her conversation with Mrs. Forman replaying in her mind. The problem was that what her head thought and her heart felt were two different things. With Michael her heart had led the whole way and she had paid the price. With Steven the love she felt for him was more balanced. He made her think _and_ feel. Now with Jake her head was running the show, telling her he would be good for her, that she should marry him. But her heart wasn't as engaged and that worried her. She breathed in Jake's scent-he smelled clean-like Ivory soap. So different from Steven, who smelled like weed and Old Spice. She frowned in the darkening room. It had started raining again and as she listened to it fall on the roof she told herself to stop comparing Jake to Steven. They were totally different and what she felt for each of them was different and that was okay. It wasn't that she didn't love Jake . She just loved him differently. It would be enough. As she drifted off into a restless sleep that voice in her head that sounded like Steven whispered sarcastically _yeah, right_.


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! As always, I don't own That 70's Show but a girl can dream! We are getting close to the end of my little story. Let me know what you think!**

Hyde had just pulled into the driveway when Mr. and Mrs. Forman came out of the house, followed by Eric and Donna. They were all dressed up and looked to be in a hurry.

"Where have you been all day?" Red barked at him but didn't wait for an answer. "Never mind. Eric, you and Donna can ride with your mother and me."

"Oh, Steven." Mrs. Forman approached him. "I'm so glad you're home and everything is okay. We're going to Jackie's wedding rehearsal and out for dinner afterwards. I made beef stew for you. It's in the crock pot by the stove. Have as much as you like. I know it's one of your favorites."

"You didn't have to do that, Mrs. F. I could have made a sandwich or something."

"Nonsense! You've been working so much lately and you look a little peaked. A good hot meal is just what you need, honey." She patted his cheek.

Hyde smiled down at her. She was the best and he appreciated her more than she knew. "Thanks," he mumbled and kissed her cheek, which made her smile.

"Why can't we stay home and have beef stew, Kitty?" Red groused, tugging on his tie. "I don't see why we have to go to this damn thing anyway." Kitty rolled her eyes and pushed him towards the Toyota. "We are going because Donna is the maid of honor and I have worked damn hard helping Jackie plan this wedding. God knows her mother has been no help! You can bet I have a few fords for that woman…"

"Pam's going to be there?" Red asked, a grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. Kitty glared at him as she got into the car.

"Hey, Hyde." Donna said, pretty in a blue wrap around dress. He eyed her up and down. "Lookin' good, Pinciotti. You sure you want to be with this guy?" and he nodded towards Eric. "I'm not doing anything tonight."

Donna laughed. "We've been down that road before and yes, I'm sure I want to be with Eric. My scrawny neighbor boy." She winked at her boyfriend.

"Okay," Hyde shrugged. "Your loss." And he headed towards the sliding door.

"Oh hey, Hyde." Eric called to him. "Just a head's up. Laurie's home."

"Crap," he muttered. "Thanks for the warning, Forman." Eric nodded and helped Donna into the Toyota. He watched them back out of the driveway, shoulders slumping. So Jackie was actually doing it then. She was getting married tomorrow. He sunk down onto one of the lawn chairs on the porch. "Damn," he muttered as a vision of Jackie in a wedding dress flashed in front of his eyes. Jackie on the hood of her Dad's Lincoln, eyes glistening in the moonlight as they leaned towards each other. Her soft lips against his in the Forman's basement that long, hot summer when they snuck around together. Her small hands on his cheeks when she kissed him. Her taut little body against his when they danced. God damn it, why couldn't he let her go?

He must have sat hunched over with his head in his hands for quite awhile, unaware of the door opening and Laurie sitting down next to him until she kicked his chair. "Hey, loser." She said. "You look like you could use this."

He looked up to see she was holding a bottle of beer towards him, condensation dripping off it in the late September heat indicating she had been there awhile. He looked at it dumbly for a minute. He'd been dry for a couple of weeks now but what the hell. "Thanks," he muttered and took the bottle from her. Laurie nodded and put her bare feet on the porch railing, sipping on her own beer. She let him enjoy the cold brew for a few minutes before she spoke. "So, it looks like the poor little orphan has lost his slam piece for good, huh?"

He didn't look at her, just took another swallow of beer. "Isn't there a medical convention in town, Laurie? Lots of doctors there. You'd better hurry over to the hotel before all the married ones are taken."

"Ha,ha," she said but there wasn't any heat in her voice. He glanced over at her, expecting her to be glaring at him but she was staring off into the distance, absently peeling the label off her beer bottle.

"Seriously, Laurie. It's Friday night. Why aren't you under some guy somewhere?"

"Shut up!' She shot him a look but the anger in it faded out of her blue eyes quickly. She shrugged. "I'm trying not to do that anymore. Not that I couldn't. I'm still pretty hot," she tossed her long blonde hair. "It's just never gotten me anywhere."

"Yeah, right." He said but he could understand where she was coming from. He leaned back in his chair and wished she would go away. Thirty minutes and another beer later she was still there. He sighed. "What do you want, Laurie. You don't have to sit out here with me."

"I know I don't" she said, her voice softer but she offered no explanation.

"Well, this has been lovely. Now if you'll excuse me," he stood up but she grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down.

"Wait, Hyde. I just want to say something to you." She said in the little girl voice she often used on Red. Suspicious, he waited for the burn he was sure was coming. She looked over at him. "I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry about Jackie getting married."

_Here it comes, _he thought. She shrugged and looked away. "I know you and I don't get along very well…"

He laughed harshly and shook his head. That was a freakin' understatement.

"Even so, I don't want you to be miserable." Laurie grinned sheepishly when he raised his eyebrows. "Well, not anymore I don't. There was a time, I'll admit, when I lived to make you and my skinny ass brothers' lives a living hell."

"No kidding?" Hyde said and she shrugged.

"What can I say? It was fun." A hint of an evil smile crossed her face.

He nodded. "Yeah. I gotta admit you did a good job of it. But since when do you care what's going on with me?"

"I don't know. It's just…" she frowned and looked off into the distance again. This was weird, even for Laurie. "As much as I made fun of you and Jackie it was pretty obvious you were good for each other. And I can tell you miss her. Even if you try to hide it."

This was getting to be too much so Hyde stood up. "Come on, Laurie. Quit the bullshit. Where's the snide dig? The bitchy comment? Come on, take your shot. I'm pretty much an open target here."

Laurie huffed in exasperation. "Don't you know me at all, Hyde? I never take the easy shot. Where's the fun in that?"

He nodded grudgingly, agreeing with her. She would wait until his guard was down, when he least expected it. "So, what's this all about then?" He leaned against the railing and took a sip of his now warm beer.

"Nothing really. I guess I'm just sorry that it's not you marrying Jackie tomorrow. That way Jake Bradley would be free and I'd have a shot at him." She tilted her head and batted her big blue eyes. A genuine laugh burst out of his chest. There was the Laurie they all knew and hated.

" Some guy being taken has never stopped you before, Laurie. You stole Kelso from Jackie. Why not steal Bradley?"

She popped up in her seat, eyes wide with excitement. "Oh! I could do that, couldn't I? Then you'd have Jackie all to yourself. You could console her and…"

God, she was a conniving bitch. "I was kidding, man. Don't you go near Bradley," Hyde warned, pointing a finger at her. First Mrs. F had joked he could break up Jackie's wedding and for a few minutes after he left the house last night he had actually considered it. Now Laurie was offering to lure Bradley away.

"Why not? Wouldn't you like him out of the way? Don't tell me you wouldn't go after Jackie if she was single again." Her narrowed eyes were trained on him like a laser and he squirmed inside a little.

"I'm serious, Laurie. Leave Bradley alone. You caused enough damage when you stole Kelso away from her." Hyde snarled at her.

"Oh, please! She thanked me for that later." Laurie laughed.

"What? Why would she thank you? She was a wreck for weeks. Kelso broke her heart." He frowned. Laurie looked at him like he was an idiot. Maybe he was 'cause this didn't make any sense.

" Sure, she was hurt but she got over it. She actually thanked me for breaking them up because she ended up with you- and she really loved you, moron." She shook her head. " What she and Kelso had was just puppy love. Why do you think it was so easy to lure him away?"

"Maybe because he's as big of a slut as you are?" Hyde raised his eyebrows. She just shrugged and stood up. The rare smile on her face was replaced by the malicious smirk that was much more typical for her.

"Think about it, Hyde. If you want me to create a diversion while you snatch Jackie away, let me know." Tossing her long blonde hair, Laurie went inside.

Man, it was tempting, he thought. His gut told him Jackie still loved him and he knew he still wanted her, that he still loved her. Like Mrs. Forman had said, Jackie loved big romantic gestures. He needed to think this thru and not do anything stupid. Maybe another beer would help. He went down to the basement and grabbed a six pack out of his stash in the old shower stall. He needed to come up with a fucking brilliant plan to convince Jackie to ditch her wedding. She was his chick-she should be with him.


	18. Chapter 18

The wedding rehearsal was almost over and Jackie was glad. She just wasn't in the mood to deal with all of the confusion and questions. She wanted everything to go smoothly tomorrow but was glad to let her mother and Kitty handle things tonight.

"Stand up straight, Donna. Slouching isn't going to make you look any less freakishly tall," Pam said sweetly to the maid of honor, who blinked in surprise. Pam was as tall as she was and an insult was an insult no matter how nicely you said it.

Kitty laughed nervously. "Donna isn't freakish. She's-uh-beautifully statuesque. Isn't she, Jackie?" When the brunette just shrugged Kitty turned on Fez, snatching a half eaten candy bar out of his hand. "There will be no eating during the ceremony. You're an usher, sweetie. You can't have sticky hands."

The foreigner nodded shamefacedly and folded his hands in front of him. Kelso laughed but quickly shut his mouth when Red glared at him. "And no fireworks in the church or on the church grounds. You got that, kettlehead?"

"God, this wedding is going to be a drag! If Jackie was marrying Hyde we'd have a blast! Get it? A blast-or a blowout. Yeah, a blowout. That would be cool! What?" He looked down at Brooke, who was tugging on his arm with an embarrassed look on her face. Funny, she looked like that a lot around him.

Jackie tried to ignore her ex's stupid remark and smiled weakly at Jake's family. Her eyes found her fiancé standing with his best man near the altar. He was frowning but came towards her and took her hand. "Why don't we get started? How about we all get in position?"

"Yes, yes! Everyone, let's do this!" Kitty clapped her hands and hurried to her seat.

Giving Jake a grateful smile Jackie joined Bob in the vestibule. He gave her a big grin and made some lame joke. She let out a deep breath and let his warmth calm her. She was glad he had flown in from Florida to walk her down the aisle and she thanked him prettily.

" You're welcome, kitten. I'm honored you asked me to stand in for your Dad. Jack and I were good friends. I'm glad to do it. Say, is your Mom seeing anyone?"

Rolling her eyes Jackie wondered if she shouldn't have asked Red to stand up with her but that would have just been awkward, him being like a father to Steven. Pastor Dave signaled them to start down the aisle and she took Bob's arm. Everyone was smiling at them as they neared the altar. Everyone but Jake, who watched her approach with a serious and almost sad look on his face. Was he having second thoughts? she wondered but when he took her arm and smiled at her she decided it was just her imagination.

The rehearsal dinner was at the Bradley's country club in Kenosha. It was a very elegant place and Pam was in her element, charming everyone around her and twisting Bob around her little finger with no effort at all. Brooke had Michael under control and Fez was too enraptured with the numerous dessert choices to be a bother to anyone. Jackie excused herself from Jake's grandmother when she saw him walk out the open french doors to the wide balcony that overlooked the golf course. He looked up from swirling the brandy in his glass when she approached. He wasn't much of a drinker but tonight he had a glass in his hand every time she looked at him. "Hey, sweetheart," he said and she slipped her arms around his waist.

Neither of them spoke, listening to the flow of voices spilling out from the dining room and the chirp of crickets from the perfectly manicured lawn beyond the balcony.

"So, are you ready for this?" his deep voiced rumbled against her cheek and she laughed quietly but didn't say anything. He tilted his head and looked down at her, evidently expecting an answer.

"Oh! Yes, of course! " she replied then she hesitated for a moment. "Are you?"

He tucked her back under his arm and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Jackie."

She blinked back the tears that spring to her eyes and snuggled against him. They stayed that way until his father came looking for them. "Hey, you lovebirds. There will be time enough for that after the wedding. Jake, Grandma is ready to leave. She wants to say goodbye."

"Go ahead," Jackie smiled, "I'll wait here." She leaned against the railing and watched a deer silently approach the pond at the edge of the woods. Deep in thought she didn't hear Donna and Eric until the redhead touched her arm.

"Hey," she said. "Everyone is getting ready to leave and they want to say goodbye. Are you coming in?"

"Yeah, I guess." Jackie said but didn't move away from the railing, staring out across the fairway as the deer was joined by a young fawn.

"Is everything okay, midget?" Donna asked, startled when Jackie threw her arms around her. She glanced at Eric, who shrugged. "What's wrong? Don't tell me Jackie-I can't wait to get married-Burkhardt is getting cold feet?" she joked.

The little brunette dug her fingers into Donnas' arms. "Ouch! That hurts!"

"Oh my god! You _are _getting cold feet!" Eric blurted and Jackie gave him the evil eye.

"No, I'm not. I mean-I don't know. Maybe. Donna, am I doing the right thing? Should I marry Jake?"

"God, Jackie, I don't know. I mean- I thought I was ready to marry Eric and it turns out, I wasn't." Seeing the tears in her friends' big eyes she grasped her shoulders and shook her a little. "Listen, I can't tell you what to do. No one can, this is your life and you have to decide if Jake is the one you want to spend it with."

"And hey, if it doesn't work out you can always get divorced, right?" Eric's head bobbed and Jackie wanted to smack it off his bony shoulders. "What an asinine thing to say!" She pinched his arm.

"Yeah, dillhole. Divorce is hard-_on everyone._" Donna punched his arm.

"Ow! Damn!" he said but he knew he deserved it. It was an insensitive thing to say to two people who knew firsthand how devastating divorce could be. "I'm sorry. I just-never mind. I'm an idiot."

Donnas' gray eyes bore a hole in his bowed head. "You got that right. Besides, Jackie, you could always pull an "Eric" and ditch your fiancé the night before the wedding!"

"Hey! I've said I'm sorry a thousand times for that," he whined, covering both arms in anticipation of another punch.

Donna rolled her eyes and turned back to Jackie. She pointed her finger at her best friend. "_Whatever_ you do, **don't** run out on Jake. He's a good guy and that wouldn't be right. Just talk to him if you decide-whatever you decide. You know." The anger in her voice faded away when she saw the doubt in the big amber eyes but Jackie straightened up and took a deep breath.

_Where was her zen when she needed it?_ Probably smoking up in the Forman's basement right about now.

"So, what are you going to do?" Eric asked. She gave them an overly bright smile and fluffed her hair.

"I'm going to go say goodbye to my guests, peel Bob off of my mother and get a good nights' sleep because I'm going to need it. I suggest you do the same. Tomorrow is going to be one hell of a day!"

They watched her walk away, head high and shoulders back, then looked at each other in trepidation. All Donna could do was laugh when Eric groaned dramatically. "What the fuck did she mean by that?"


	19. Chapter 19

A few hours later Hyde was well into his second six pack when he heard the Toyota rumble into the driveway. He'd been trying to formulate a plan to get Jackie back but hadn't come up with much. Laurie's offer was out of the question. No way did he want Jackie hurt by another guy cheating on her and as much as he wanted Bradley out of the picture he wouldn't wish Forman's slut of a sister on anyone.

Underneath the desperation he could feel rising he knew it was a bad idea. Hell, it wasn't even his idea. Mrs. Forman has planted the seed so he was just going to go with it. All he needed was Forman's help and to find out where Jackie was. He looked up from his chair when he heard the stairs creak.

"Forman, where's Donna?" he asked.

"Upstairs. Why? What's going on here, man?" Eric looked at the beer can pyramid on the old wooden table then at the duffel bag on the sofa. "Are you going somewhere?"

"Yeah. I'm going to get my woman back." Hyde muttered, shoving a length of rope and a pillowcase-the Spider-Man one from his bedroom-into the duffel bag.

Eric laughed nervously. "What? What woman? You don't mean…" and his eyes went wide. He hurried to the foot of the stairs and yelled up to his girlfriend. "Donna! Get down here!"

She came clomping down the stairs and Hyde chuckled to himself, remembering something Jackie had said about the redhead- _You can change the flannel and work boots for silk and heels but Donna will always be a lumberjack._

"What's so funny, Hyde?" She asked, looking at him with suspicious gray eyes. "What's with the gloves? And the ski mask? Aren't the misdemeanors on your juvie record enough?"

"Very funny, Pinciotti. Now where's Jackie?" he scoffed.

"Jackie? What's she got to do with this? Eric?" she turned to her boyfriend who just shook his head, a fist pressed against his mouth.

"Jackie. Where is she?" Hyde demanded but he swayed a little when he stood up.

"She's staying at her Mom's tonight. Why?" Her eyes got big and she grabbed Hyde's arm. "You're going to do something stupid, aren't you? You're going to kidnap Jackie!"

"Oh my god! Kidnapping is a federal offense!" Eric screeched. Donna and Hyde both glared at him.

"Keep it down, Erica." Hyde yanked his arm out of the redheads vice like grip and turned away, muttering that _this_ wasn't stupid-" Letting her go to Chicago was stupid."

Donna gestured to Eric but he looked at her in confusion. She pointed to the shower stall then at Hyde. "Oh! Beer! Right." He said and grabbed another six pack. "Hyde, let's talk about this. Come on, have a beer with us."

"No, I gotta go. I can't let you talk me out of this like you did at Charlie's beer warehouse," Hyde growled but it didn't come off the way he intended because he slurred his way thru it. "I should have asked her to stay. Now she's getting married and I gotta stop her."

"Hyde, come here." Donna guided him to the sofa and pushed him down. She moved the duffel bag and a packet of condoms fell out. As drunk as he was Hyde still planned on practicing safe sex. She would have laughed if the whole situation wasn't so stupid. Eric slid a beer into Hyde's hand and he looked at it blankly before raising it to his mouth.

Eric sat down and leaned forward. "So Hyde, what's the plan? Fill me in."

"It's simple, man. We go to Jackie's house and I climb the trellis to her window. I carry her down while you keep a lookout. We gotta be quiet so Pam doesn't hear us." He whispered the last part and Eric nodded, imagining wearing the cat burglar outfit he wore when he, Hyde and Kelso had broken into the police academy. Donna recognized the interested look on her boyfriend's face and smacked his arm.

"There is no plan, you dillholes, because this stupid scheme isn't going to happen." She frowned.

"Yeah? Says who?" Hyde tried to glare at her but he couldn't keep his eyes from closing. Man, how many beers did he have? He couldn't remember and that was never a good thing. Donna shook him and he forced his eyes open.

"Listen, Hyde. Kidnapping Jackie is crazy and you know it. You can't do this," her voice was firm and she had that disdainful look in her eyes-all four of them. Hyde shook his head clear. "Like hell I can't." He said.

She sighed. "Okay, you _could_ do it but _why_ would you do it?"

Hyde gave her a look that said she was being deliberately obtuse and crossed his arms over his chest. They sat in silence for awhile, Donna fuming. She hated it when Hyde shut her out. Seeing her frustration Eric spoke in a soothing voice. "Listen, man. We're worried about you."

"Pffftt. Why? I'm fine. Never been better." Hyde enunciated carefully but his eyes drifted shut again. Damn it, this was just like that night at the warehouse when he got so plastered he couldn't think straight.

"Yeah, I know but I gotta say-this plan to kidnap Jackie? It sounds like something Kelso would do." Eric said. Donna hid a smile behind her hand when Hyde's nearly closed eyes popped open. He sat up straighter when Eric continued. "I mean, she _is_ getting married tomorrow."

"No shit, Forman. That's why I gotta do this. I have to talk to her," he scowled.

"Do you really think you can talk her out of marrying Jake?" Donna asked.

"Yeah-no-I don't know. I just-argh!" Hyde stood and started pacing unsteadily behind the sofa. Donna and Eric watched him with worried looks on their faces. They knew he was struggling. He hated talking about his feelings but when he stopped in front of them his blue eyes without their shades were vulnerable.

"I have to make sure she's happy." His voice was low. "I know that I fucked up but I want her to know that I…" He hung his head. "You know what? Forget it-just-forget it." He walked carefully to his bedroom and shut the door behind him.

He was laying on his cot staring at the duct work that ran like a fat metal worm across the ceiling when Donna came in several minutes later. He threw an arm over his face, muffling his voice. "Christ, Pinciotti. What do you want?"

The frame of the old army cot creaked when she sat down next to him. A soft sigh preceded her words. " I know this is hard for you, Hyde. Hell, it's been hard for all of us. We all got used to the idea of you and Jackie being together. But then things got weird and you hurt each other and it was hard to see you both so unhappy." She hesitated and was quiet long enough that he peeked at her from under his arm. She was biting her nails-something she only did when she was really upset. He nudged her with his hip and she looked down at him.

" You know I love you," she said and laughed a little when he shifted uncomfortably. " But you really did a number on Jackie and it took her a long time to get over you. I'm not even sure…"

When she didn't continue he asked in a steadier voice "What aren't you sure about?"

"I'm not even sure she _is _over you." When he tried to sit up she pushed him back down. "But you can't do this to her. You'll just be messing with her head if you go see her tonight and haven't you done that enough already?"

The pain in his gut told him he knew Donna was right. He knew he should leave Jackie alone, let her decide what and who was best for her but damn, if it didn't hurt like hell and whenever he hurt he lashed out and ended up doing something stupid. He sat up but Donna shoved him back down. "Besides, you're drunk. You'll only make things worse."

"Aw, come on. I do some of my best work when I've had a few," he grinned, pushing at the hand she had lodged against his chest. Man, she was strong or he was really wasted because he couldn't move.

"Yeah? Like marrying a stripper?" The pressure on his chest increased. "Listen, Hyde. Leave Jackie alone _or else_."

"Or else what? You'll sic your boyfriend on me?" he sneered. This was bullshit. He'd see Jackie if he wanted to-no one was going to tell him he couldn't.

"No, I'll kick your ass myself." She stood up and he rubbed his chest where her large hand had no doubt left a mark. He couldn't see her expression in the dim room but her stance was aggressive. "If you can't give her the life she wants then you need to leave her alone."

"What makes you think I can't give her what she wants?" his voice was harsh but she had known him almost her whole life. She heard the hurt behind it.

" Maybe you can but you've hurt her so many times." She sighed. "This is her decision-her choice. Promise me that you won't go over there tonight or interfere at the wedding tomorrow." She waited in silence until he finally responded.

"Whatever," he grumbled and turned to face the wall. He heard her move towards the door. " I'll leave her alone but if I ever get another chance with her you can make damn sure I'll take it-and I'll prove you wrong, Donna." His voice was sincere in the darkness.

"I hope you do." She said softly and closed the door behind her. He didn't know how he was going to make it thru the night and in one last frustrated act, he grabbed the closest thing to him and hurled it across the room. Only when he heard the glass shatter did he realize it was the framed picture of Jackie she had given him years ago and that he had kept hidden under his bed until recently. A sound somewhere between a cry and a curse ripped out of him before he buried his face in his pillow. Jackie would never know it but his last big romantic gesture was going to be letting her go.


	20. Chapter 20

This is the last chapter of my prequel to "I'm with you"-which you may want to you read if you haven't already and you enjoyed this fic. If you read it before you may want to read it again! I'm pleased with the way they fit together despite writing the prequel last-which can be tricky. Thanks to all for reading and the reviews. I truly appreciate it. Jackie & Hyde forever!

On the other side of town Jackie tried to fall asleep in her old bedroom, listening to the scrape of tree branches against the window. Most of the furniture was gone, having been sold or moved to the apartment she would be sharing with Jake after the wedding tomorrow. Old posters and pictures hung on the walls but the room seemed cold despite the late September heat. _I need to take those down_ she thought, before her mother threw them away. She was totally over Donny Osmond and David Cassidy but she wanted the framed photos of her friends. _Especially the ones with Steven in them._

Thinking of him drew her to the window, remembering when she used to wait for him to pick her up in his el camino. Sometimes late at night he would park further down the street and walk across the lawn. She would watch him climb deftly up the trellis, her heart beating in fear and excitement. Fear that he might fall or that her parents would catch him in the act of sneaking into their daughters' bedroom. Excitement that this dangerous, sexy boy was coming for her.

But the driveway was empty and no curly haired teenager grinned up at her. She sighed and turned back to her old bed with its pink cushioned headboard and frilly white bedding.

She had driven her mother home from the rehearsal dinner and Pam had insisted she spend the night before the wedding with her, in their old home.

"Come on, darling. You don't want to stay at that foreign boy's place and you can't see the groom until the wedding. Stay here tonight. It will be like old times. We'll stay up late and talk about makeup and boys!" Pam gushed.

Jackie raised her brows. "We never did that," she said.

"We didn't?" Pam tilted her head. "Oh. Well, we can do it now!"

"Mom, it's late. I'll stay at the house with you but I need my beauty sleep and so do you." Jackie said as they pulled into the driveway. All of the lights were off in the big house and it made her sad to see it so dark and empty.

"Jacqueline Beulah Burkhardt! You take that back!" Pam gasped, a hand at her too tan throat.

Jackie laughed. "I didn't mean anything by it. I'm just tired and tomorrow is a big day. I'm getting married! Can you believe it, Mom?" Her voice was unusually quiet and her expression flat. Pam didn't notice but her friends would have wondered what was wrong.

"I know! How exciting!" Pam hugged her. "Do you think I should wear my hair up? I want to look elegant but not stuffy. And what about my dress? I know the mother of the bride isn't supposed to wear white but it shows off my tan so well." She chattered as they entered the house, flipping on lights as she headed toward the kitchen. Jackie followed behind her, turning off some of the lights because it was better not to see how stark the bare walls and nearly empty rooms were.

Pam was talking about how nice it was to see Bob again and didn't she hear that he was doing quite well in Florida? Maybe she would have to go visit him once the wedding was over and she sold the house. An hour later and Pam was close to finishing a bottle of wine and still talking about herself. So much for the heart to heart Jackie had hoped for with her mother. With a tight smile she led Pam upstairs and poured her into bed. As she turned off the lamp Pam's long, delicate hand touched her wrist. "Don't worry, darling. Tomorrow will be a wonderful day."

Jackie bent down to kiss her mother and was surprised to feel the warmth of tears on the soft cheek. "I love you, Jackie."

"I love you too, Mom." She hugged her gently. "Goodnight."

Hours later she was half awake, curled up in her childhood bed and thinking of the past year and how much her life had changed and was about to change again. At first she thought she was imagining it but when the ringing persisted she pulled herself out of a dream-more of a memory-of Steven. She hadn't been able to forget the way he looked at her the last time she saw him. The desperate longing in his blue, blue eyes. She pushed back the ache the memory brought on as she hurried down the long carpeted hallway to answer the phone before it woke Pam. There was only the one line in the house now and it was located in the living room. The marble floor was cold on her bare feet as she lifted the receiver. Glancing at the clock hanging over the fireplace she saw it was almost three and her heart started pounding. She wondered who would be calling in the middle of the night.

"Hello?" she said, a little out of breath. There was no answer but she could tell there was someone on the line. "Hello?" Still nothing and she closed her eyes. "Steven?"

She waited, listening, hoping he would say something. "Steven? Is that you? Please talk to me."

A tear ran down her cheek but she was clutching the phone with both hands and didn't wipe it away. "Please, baby." she whispered and a few seconds later the line went dead.

She hung up the phone and stumbled to the sofa. She could call him back but what was the point? If he really wanted to talk he would have said something. Maybe he was drunk and called her old number by mistake or maybe it wasn't even him. Maybe it was a wrong number.

_But if it was Steven-_no, she had to stop playing these games with herself.

God, she was so tired and confused. She had wanted it to be Steven. Curled up on the sofa in her mothers' house on the day of her wedding to another man, she finally admitted it to herself. She still loved Steven Hyde. She always would. She loved that he was scruffy and sarcastic. She loved his sharp tongue and his sweet kisses. She loved his quick wit and his sense of honor. She loved that he cut her down when she got bitchy but always let her say what was on her mind. She loved that he let her baby him when no one was around and that he made her feel safe. She loved that he always seemed to know when she needed him to be real with her. She loved the way they had changed for each other without changing who they were. She loved the way he made love to her and his blue, blue eyes. She loved him. And she missed him- she always would.

But if the past year had taught her anything it was that she was strong enough to let him go. She wasn't going to fall apart. She could love someone else and be happy enough. Today-in less than 12 hours- she was going to marry Jake. Steven Hyde would always be a part of her past, a part of her heart but the old Jackie who would have been in hysterics at losing him, at losing part of her soul was ready to move on. She wiped away the betraying tears that told her otherwise and let sleep overtake her.

Alone in his dark apartment Jake hung up the phone. He sat staring at the engagement photo of him and Jackie in his hand until the sun infused the room with soft pink light. He got up and turned on the t.v. but all he could hear was Jackie's whisper _Steven-is that you? Please, baby._

He loved her. He really thought they could have a great life together. As he headed for the shower he glanced at the tuxedo hanging on his closet door. It wasn't what he wanted and it wasn't going to be easy but he knew what he had to do. It was the right thing to do. Letting the warm water run thru his dark blonde hair and down his face, he thought _this_ _is going to be one hell of a day._


End file.
